Doubles

I overslept some this morning and didn't really get my workout in. (Arlene, don't worry about standing me up, when I saw that you weren't there I decided to get a little more shut eye!) But I didn't want to miss out on the day entirely, so late tonight, before I headed for bed I did HIIT 15. Tomorrow I am going to start Turbo Fire / ChaLEAN Extreme doubles. I am doing Turbo Fire in the morning and CLX after school. I am excited to add to my program.

I am also excited for my grill - it should be here tomorrow! I will be making Buffalo sliders and a bunch of grilled chicken breasts!

Embarrassing confession II

Aka you know you are too fat when... some of you will understand the pain of wearing pantyhose that are too small when your thighs are rubbing together. Every step is agony, but you don't want anyone to know you are in pain or why. I have another embarrissing fat pain to add today - when your stomach is so big that it rubs against itself and rubs raw. The flap I have (the one that slaps up and down when I do jumping jacks) of extra stomach fat and skin from being so big with Jackson (315lbs the day we went home from the hospital) can trap sweat and start to rub and become raw and painful right above my C-Section scar. It is awful to be so fat you injury yourself. I can't wait until this flap is gone.

Why do I ever doubt clean eating?

I keep hoping that something else will make me lose weight fast. Really fast. If I could wake up tomorrow 118lbs lighter than I am right now I would think it a miracle. And then I would go shopping. So I flit from program to program and eating fad to eating fad. I know what works for me:

• Carbs late in the day make me tired and hungry. 
• Denying myself chocolate all the time makes me cranky. 
• Peanut butter makes me want to binge.
• I cannot eat 1oz of cheese unless 1oz is all I have.
• If I don't eat breakfast when I get up it will take me about four hours to eat. And then I eat a lot.
• Steaming broccoli when I am still hungry at the end of a meal
• As tired as I am when I get up at 4:30 and workout I feel better the rest of the day.
• And when I don't eat clean nothing goes right.

So I know what I need to do. I need to eat clean. Whole grains, lean proteins, lots of fruits and vegetables. Planning my meals - for the whole week, not just the next day. Make sure dinner will be quick to cook when I get home or in the Crockpot before I leave (I hate eating dinner after 8PM all the time!). Use the advice, recipes, support and insight I get from my online friends, my blogger friends, my clean eating friends, my magazines, and my smart wonderful hubby - the hubby that just bought me a new George Foreman grill/waffle maker/baking dish/slider maker! Should be here Monday night and I cannot weight!

I am going to go snuggle up with the hubster. I am excited for my plan for tomorrow - for my plan for my life. I feel good. 

Feel like a loser, but getting better.

I lost my mojo. I love Turbo Fire and somehow lost my mojo in doing it the last few weeks. I know it is when my eating went completely off track. I ate "bad" "unclean" food - read processed junk - and my energy plummeted. I forgot to take my meds and I sank further down the rabbit hole.

But I picked myself up. I am back on track. I restarted Turbo Fire today - Today is my new day one. I even took pictures. And I am going to post them. I am not proud of these pictures, but they are evidence of how far I have to go. And when I reach my goal they will be how far I have come.

Okay - had to edit to add a link to my friend Daniela's blog - funny post, and I want this to be my new motto!

"Losing the bloodhound, one kitten at a time!"

So I decided to take a week off before I cough up a lung...

I have bronchitis, I am sure of it. Before I moved to Las Vegas I used to get it 4 times a year without fail, so I remember what a pain in the butt it is. I have tried to work out this week exactly one time and felt so dizzy and light headed and couldn't breath... So I am giving myself this week off. I have gone grocery shopping and bought good yummy healthy food so I can eat clean like I need to. Except tonight. Tonight I had tacos (not whole grain and too many) and am going to have cookies and milk before I go to bed. But I am going to start some yogurt before that so I will have that to add to my healthy eats all weekend.