Teddy Bear Love

My 3 yr old has a teddy bear - "Bear" - that he has had his whole life. It was a gift from a coworker to me shortly before he was born. Bear came to the hospital and rode home with the Monkey in the car seat. It is a tan colored bear that once upon a time played music, nature sounds, and a heart beat. As my mother and I drove across country with my 2 week old Monkey in the back seat (My husband and I were moving) Bear was propped on the Monkey's feet, with in easy reach to turn on the heart and soothe a crying infant.

Bear slept in the bassinet and in the crib. Early on the Monkey learned that if he hugged Bear, Bear made music. The Monkey loves music. At odd times throughout the night Bear's music could be heard through the baby monitor - most often when the Monkey woke up and needed help to get back to sleep.

The Monkey's love for Bear has not diminished as he has gotten older. No other flashy stuffed animals have manged to take Bear's place. Bear is not shared - and he is the only toy the Monkey will not let his little brother hold. Bear's music died last summer thanks to a trip into the pool. The Monkey thought Bear would like to go swimming with him. Bear's once robust and cuddly figure is noticeably flat and limp due to a tear in his back that leaked fuzz into the washing machine... Bear has seen better days, but the Monkey does not care. His love is constant.

Seeing the perfect love my child has for his frayed and beaten teddy made me think - why can't we have that kind of love for ourselves? Why is it so hard for me to love myself, to love my body despite all of its flaws. Why can't I love my body for the things it has done well, done without complaint, and often done in spite of the abuse I have given it.

My body faithfully carried, protected and housed the monkey for 41 weeks (he has always been stubborn). It fed him for 7 months after he was born. My body healed itself from the loss of the baby it could not keep. It quickly nurtured and grew my little Moose baby shortly there after. My body can rejoice in a kiss or hug from my children or a caress from my husband. My body carried me on shaky legs done the aisle and stood proudly as I married my husband.

My body has taken me skiing, horseback riding, running, and walking. My body used to be able to do cartwheels (and will again someday). It can play volleyball, and softball. It can take a spinning class, or Zumba, or Kickboxing. It can lift weights - heavy weights. My body has healed quickly from injuries and illness. It has provided the strength my heart required to do ever more - more than I thought it possibly could.

I love my body! I love the strength in my muscles. I love the delicacy of my hands. I love my height. I love my eyes. I love my hair - even the grey. I love my breasts, and the gently curved hourglass of my shape.

And I love my stretch marks. I love my c-section scar. I love the scars on my arms and my legs that are the badges of honor, the chronicle of my life. I love my thick waist and my big thighs and my flabby bottom. I even love my flappy "grandma" arms. I love my imperfections They are proof that my body is strong, that my body has been there for me, supported me, and loved me without questions since the moment we were born. My body has loved me even when I have treated it badly. When I have fueled it with junk. When I have not given it the movement it craves, or the sleep it needs.

My body has loved me the way my 3 yr old loves his bear. And I promise that from now on I will love it the same way.

Mmm, oatmeal

Journey of 1111 miles Day 6
Need to walk 3 miles after school tonight

So last year when I really got into "clean eating" I was making oatmeal in the crockpot and eating it all the time - and it was good! But now I have so many other things constantly going in the crock - and the last couple times I made oatmeal it flopped - that I decided to try and make it on the stove top this morning. I know this may not seem like a big deal to some, but since I was never an oatmeal eater until about a year ago, this was a very big deal for me. And I have to say it was a fantastic success! I will make this oatmeal every morning I think - or at least a lot of mornings. I made it with 1% milk to up the protein content and nothing else and let it simmer on the stove for about 10 minutes. After it was done I sprinkled on some sugar in the raw (about 1/2T) and about a 1/4C of walnuts and 1/4C of craisins. Oh man this was good! Yummy and filling, it was such a great breakfast. I like eating well and healthy early in the morning, I feel like it sets me up for a healthy day later - and helps me with my Healthy for the Holidays goal. Now I have walnuts and banana for lunch, grapes and cheese for a snack, and a PB&J sandwich for dinner during my Violence Prevention workshop tonight. Plus a canceled class that gives me a little time to get some homework done. Not a bad day!

Journey of 1111 miles day 4

5.3 miles
Okay, missed my walk yesterday (bad  know) but I did go today! Jonas actually pulled me outside ("Um on, 's nice") and we grabbed brother, L'il girl and the Jeep stroller and went for a 2.3 mile walk. Sadly I only know the distance because we have walked it before. For some reason the GPS/Distance app on my phone was not working right.

When we got home I did another 3 miles! Walk Away The Pounds is fantastic for adding miles in the comfort of your own home. Plus the temp started to dip outside and I did not want to get caught in the rain or something else while no one was home to bring the car and come get us. Sick wet boys = not fun!

Now it is time for lunch, snuggles, naps and homework.

I walked and am eating a big bowl of broccoli and maybe broccoli/chicken casserole later to be healthy for the holidays today - how about you?

The Journey of 1111.11 miles day 2

I only got 1 mile of walking in yesterday (day 1) BUT I did 5 miles today and 3 on 11/10! And I have officially joined Lorrie's Healthy Holidays Challenge. Phew - I thought 5 miles (all walking) would be a breeze, but keeping up a 4.5MPH pace was exhausting. I was beat by the end, but so very glad I did it.

On the monkey front, and keeping with Jonas' general oddness... You would think a kid that likes melted cheese, and LOVES broccoli (yes, broccoli) would at least eat broccoli casserole that was ALL broccoli and cheese, but NO. He won't even touch it. Apparently he really only wants his broccoli steamed. Or on pizza. But he did eat "brea-fas teetees" (that was what he called the pumpkin pancakes I made last night) for breakfast and dinner today. Well, packed with pumpkin puree from the garden, whole wheat flour and just a touch of sugar, those are pretty good "teetees ("cookie" in Jonas-speak).

And going with the pumpkin I have been wanting cookies like nobody's business for days. Instead of buying cookies or trying to deny my craving only to binge and succumb later, I am making whole wheat pumpkin triple chip cookie bars. It's a new recipe - or at least my take on my mom's famous chocolate chip cookies, and I am hoping for something sweet and chewy enough to satisfy my craving, but dense enough that I don't binge - so 1 cookie and some yogurt will be my snack later.

Anyone else want to join our Healthy for the Holiday's challenge just pop on over to Lorries blog My All Natural Weightloss and sign up!

45 days until Christmas

There is only 45 days left until Christmas! Lorrie posted on her blog that she wants to give herself the gift f health for the holidays. I want to give that gift to myself and my family too! She is challenge herself and others to do something for their health everyday and take a picture on Christmas day to show off how they have contributed to their health. I am going to join her. So today I am going to moderate my urge to binge, eat a great big salad, and start my journey of 1,111.11 miles with a C25K workout with the boys after school.