All I want for Christmas...

... is a treadmill. Seriously. Any treadmill companies out there that want to set me up with a treadmill to review and use for the next few months or the year or whatever, I will be grateful! I need a treadmill because I have not been able to get out for a decent run in about 2 weeks. seriously, my last good run was on the treadmills at school, and that was 2 weeks ago. The weather around here has not been awful, but it has been too cold/damp most of the time to take 2 squirmy boys that have been sick out in the jogging stroller for a decent run, and the hubby has been more less out of town for 2 weeks. The days he has been home, the schedule has not been conducive to getting out to run - but if I had had a treadmill those days, I could totally have gotten a super awesome run in anyway.

I of course have DVDs I can workout to at home, but the thought of using them has left me so depressed I cannot even put on my workout clothes. Getting back into strength training is also taking far more effort than I would like. It seems to me like everything is taking too much effort these days...

I am still working on the Paleo eating, and most days it is going pretty well. I am not stressing myself on trying to be perfect through the holiday season, but I am striving to do well every day indulge only in things I really love. No eating something junky just because it is there. And through some wonderful forums and websites and blogs devoted to the Paleo lifestyle, I am getting some fantastic ideas of things to eat, ways to cook them, and so on. So many great ideas that I think I will be able to shop very well for the coming month when I head to the store next week.

As the year comes to a close (and another "fat" birthday has passed) I am feeling a bit better than I have in a while. I am not where I want to be, but I finally feel like I am on the path to get there.

So 'Licious - Mamavation Monday

"So 'licious, so yummy" ~ the Moose "Mommy, my dinner is very alicious tonight" ~ the Monkey.

I had a tough week. Tuesday the boys starting throwing up while we were an hour from home grocery shopping. They continued all night Tuesday night. Wednesday the Moose was better, but the Monkey was so bad I got scared enough to take him to the emergency room. 7 hours (3 on an IV drip) later, he finally looked, talked, and felt like himself again. He still did not want to eat though, so on Thursday, when he told me he was hungry I was trying to shove whatever food I could into my little boy. 

I made him hot chocolate, macaroni and cheese, plied him with granola bars. No go. Grilled chicken, a big fat salad, and some Paleo style eggs worked. My carb-rific kids did some paleo eating of their own this weekend as I adjusted to eating differently. They drank all of my coconut milk (darn them!) They kept eating all my eggs, they gobbled the veggies out of my salad, and stole broccoli cooked in coconut oil off my plate. All the while they told me it was so alicious or so yummy.

My week overall was not good in terms of general stress level, workouts, or anything else. I got kicked out of one of my presentation groups at school (last minute, on Wednesday when I spent the day at the hospital) and told I would have to find something else to do for that grade. It's okay now, I got it taken care of, but it was one more stress that I did not need. I tried to get oil for my furnace, only to be told that HEAP benefits have been cut and it has not been opened yet this year. I am lucky to have an electric blanket and a space heater in the boys' room, because my house will be chilly this winter. I caught attitude from a grocery store cashier when I tried to get all natural peanut butter using WIC (my family is struggling hardcore while I am in school, so I use every available means to keep us afloat and look forward to June when I will have graduated, and pray to the gods that I have a job) when they tried to tell me I could only get the store brand - which isn't true, and I contested it. 

My head is all over the place, and I feel like I am falling behind in my life, trying to do everything I need to do. My mamavation Monday post today is late, rambling, doesn't make a whole lot of sense, so I appreciate the efforts of everyone who took the time to read it. Next week I will be more coherent, I promise.

Aiming for a better week

Despite my intentions of getting back to my runs Thursday, I was derailed. The hubby has been out of town since Thursday night, meaning no chance to run alone. Although even if I had the chance, I don't think I would have gone for my runs this weekend anyway. Friday afternoon the muscles on my left side seemed to lock up on me. By about 7 Friday night I was shaking and feverish and desperately trying to figure out how to feed the boys dinner when I didn't even feel like I could get off the couch. Saturday was not much better, but after another night of extra strength ibuprofen and snuggles with my moose (who has not been feeling so hot himself) I feel almost human today. Possible even good enough to take the boys for a nice walk before dinner later. 


I have been reading / hearing / downloading podcasts a lot recently about the Paleo Diet. I've done low carb before - I did Atkins a few times (best when I was away in college. Lost all my progress when I came home and had carb laden foods tempting me). The more I read about Paleo, the more it seems to be a clean eating version of a low carb diet. It emphasis real foods, whole foods, no processed food. No to low grain consumption, lots of vegetables and fruits, nuts and nut butter (but not peanut butter as peanuts are a legume). Lean meats, poultry, seafood... I feel like that is a way of eating I can get behind and sustain. I know I feel absolutely awful when I eat too many wheat products. When I put a greater emphasis on vegetables and lean protein I feel better about what I am eating, get fewer headaches and no heartburn. When I start eating too much wheat (pasta especially) I suffer from awful heartburn!


So as I plan out our grocery list for this month it will look more like a paleo list. Nuts, lean meats, frozen vegetables, a little dairy, some healthy fats. I am hoping that this will help jump start me in the right direction and set the end of my year on a good course. 


Mamavation Monday question: How has Type II diabetes affected your life?
I'm lucky that even with my weight being so high, I do not suffer from type II diabetes, in fact that last time I had my blood work done and asked to check that out, my doctor said my numbers were so good I did not have to worry about it. However, my father was diagnosed as pre-diabetic 3 years ago and my MIL has Type II diabetes, so I have seen how it can complicate a persons life. My MIL has to take extensive medication everyday - and I am fairly certain that most of her more sever health problems (including the diabetes) are directly related to the fact that she is at least 100lbs over weight, if not more. That thought more than any other makes me motivated to be healthy. I want to be able to play with my children and eventual grandchildren and not suffer from weight related illness. 




“This post is sponsored by Better’n Eggs and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women“” 

Race Report and a Call For Help

Okay, I am way late with my race report on my first race!

Saturday October 29, 2011 I ran the Pumpkins in the Park 5K in Rochester, NY at Cobbs Hill Park. I grew up in a suburb of Rochester and have moved away and back to the area more times than I would care to admit.

On the Thursday before the race we had our first official snowfall of the season. Big fat flakes coating my yard in white. The snow nixed my initial race outfit of lightweight capris and my Race Ragz tech shirt. A desperate call to my mother provided me with warm compression tights to run in on Saturday.

I almost did not get to the race on time. I live in the middle of nowhere (seriously, NOWHERE) and my house is difficult to find in full daylight. At 5AM in the pitch black it is impossible! My mom was picking me up (she was in town staying with some friends for a long weekend) and taking me to the race. She got lost a couple of times and only got to my house at 7:00AM. The race started at 9, and registration (which I still needed to do) opened at 7:30 - and I live 1.5 hours away from the city. I bundled my half sleeping boys into the car, grabbed my bag to make sure I had everything and we were off.

I drove way faster than was legal just fast enough to get there in time. A pleading call to my dad (my parents are divorced, but very friendly, which makes my life so much easier) had him registering me to ensure a spot at the starting line. We managed to find the perfect parking spot - right at the starting line! I put on my shoes, grabbed my fanny pack and phone, and ran inside to the bathroom (a long drive, a large coffee... had to pee before the start). With 2 minutes to spare I got outside and at the starting line, ready to go.

It was a costume race, and there were some great costumes. Unfortunately the one thing I forgot to throw in my bag was my camera. Next time, I promise!

I had my miCoach app running, my 2:1 run / walk timer set, I was ready to go! The starting gun went off and on mass the crowd moved. I started with a v v e e r r r y y slow jog and kept that up for a good portion of the first mile. I started actually listening to my run/walk timer at about 10 minutes - when I was out of sight of most spectators! :D

The course itself is quite hill, but it is nothing compared to my daily running route! The hills outside my front door are higher and steeper, so I really felt like I had a training advantage on those hills. I was able to run up at least part of every one.

I passed the first mile at 13:26 - easily my fastest mile for starting out. I felt like my pacing was good throughout the race, and I followed my timer after the first 10 minutes, without taking any extra walk breaks. Mile 2 was a little slower (mostly uphill) at 14:46 - still faster than my average pace. My face hurt at that point from all the smiling! Mile 3 looped around the reservoir and was downhill to the finish. Downhill for most of the last mile! Mile 3 had me at 12:53! The fastest mile I have run since high school, maybe even junior high! I crossed the finish line, sprinting it out for the last few hundred feet, at 42:18. My goal for the race was 45:00 so, I was more than 2:30 better than my race goal!

I rode the high of that race for the whole day, and a good part of Sunday. Unfortunately I seemed to take a downturn after that. I have not really gotten a good run in since the race. I feel apathetic and unmotivated. I want to sit around and eat candy and kind of give up on getting fit and healthy. Of course at the same time I want to run another race (4.4 mile Turkey Trot) on Thanksgiving, and another in December, and another and another and another! The race was great, and I can't wait to run more. I just need to find my motivation again.

Do you have any motivation tips? A way I can find my get up and go again?


How about races? Ever run one, or are you planning a race?

Running Blog

I have noticed that more and more of my posts have become about running (or at least mention it) and I am okay with this. :) This is moving into being a running blog, and running makes me happy.

I think about running all day. It's first in my brain when I wake up, last thing I think about before I go to sleep, and I even have had dreams about it. It lifts my mood better than anything except the joy I get in my hubby and my kids.

So more posts will talk about my runs, the things I think about on my runs, the things that running makes me feel. And as of Saturday there will be race recaps too - my first race is Pumpkins in the Park and I cannot wait. I'm going to have a little pirate theme rockin' for the race. I'll be sure to get pics :)

I hope I don't lose readers (I value all of you so much) as I grow and figure out my place in the world of running blogs. I know there will be struggles along the way, and the advice and support I get from my tweeps and readers is really what keeps me going.

So come on in, take off your sneakers, grab a cup of coffee (the pot is always on) and tell me your story. We have so much to talk about.

My Personal Health Brand

How would you brand your health and wellness lifestyle?  How do you want others to know you in this area?

My healthy brand. It is an interesting question, and it ties into my post last week about searching for a way to incorporate my passion into my life full time. I want my personal healthy lifestyle brand to be about perseverance, whole life health, and reaching for your goals. A brand that supports you in all areas, that knows that there is a life to live and that perfection is not the goal, progress is. 

I am making progress. I ran again this morning, not even 12 hours after my super fast night time run last night. And I am signed up (sort of) for my first race! I am doing a 5K next Saturday. I am excited and nervous. I am going to work on that distance all week - but I will also make sure to be easy on my legs Thursday and Friday.

My brand would also be about being a role model for those around us, and I am beginning to realize that I am a role model. I was designing my personal logo this afternoon the Monkey look at it and that's a mom, and she's running. Because mommy runs. Because mommy is a runner.

Mamavation and New Balance are giving away a pair of shoes on Mamavation TV tomorrow night. I still remember when I started playing volleyball in high school and New Balance had women's sneakers in my size - a hard thing to find a lot of the time - so they have a special place in my heart. Go here to enter the enter the giveaway, and to find a new place to get the support you need on your fitness, health, and wellness journey.

 “This post is sponsored by New Balance and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women“” 

Faster

Wow - training and consistency work! I am actually running faster - faster than I can ever remember, faster than I was a few months ago... I can look back over my training and see how much I have improved. I can even look at this point and I can tell when I have the stroller with me and when I don't. The stroller adds a minute to a minute 30 to my per mile pace. My per mile pace is around a solid 15:30-15:00 (fast enough for runDisney! :) )

And do you see that right there? My pace tonight was UNDER 15:00 per mile! And I ran at 9:30 at night (yep, night) in the pitch black on my empty country road. Great run, no cars, no people, nothing but coyotes howling in the distance. I will do similar dark runs again, but the dogs and my flashlight/headlamp will come with me every time.

I have not hit all my weekly goals this week, but I am moving forward and feeling really good about it.

If I Had a Million Dollars

Have you ever had the "if I won the lottery" day dream?

No? Just me? Hmm, maybe it's because I am always broke...

Anyway, there have been commercials on TV for the latest Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. I am not planning on entering, but the giveaway/prize is $1million dollars and $5000 a week for life. That is the part that always interests me. You could blow through $1 million pretty quick and be in a worse situation than you were before, but with money coming in every week, if you were the least bit responsible, you would really be set for life. Not an extravagant life, but a nice comfortable middle class one (that is really what I aspire to).

And I think to myself, I I won $5000 a week for life and didn't have to work, what would I do? Would I still want to be a teacher? Maybe, I really do love being in a classroom, and if I was not dependent on the salary, I think I would teach at least part time, and probably in an economically disadvantaged school.

But I don't think teaching would be my primary passion. I think I would want to devote my life and my work to getting healthy and fit, to getting my family and loved ones healthy and fit and to teaching/helping other people be healthy and fit.

And when I think of that, I think of the scene in the movie Office Space where the main character asks another "What would you do if you had a million dollars" (I would link to it, but the language is a little PG13) and he goes on to say (basically) your answer to what you would do if you didn't need money is what you should be doing with your life, because that is what would make you happy.

So I am left thinking, if I would devote my life to getting healthy and getting other people to be healthy and fit - what should I be doing now instead of trying to be a teacher? Am I on the wrong path? And if I am on the wrong path, what should I do so that I can merge my current path with one that will allow me to bring health and fitness to myself and others?


What would you do if you didn't have to worry about money?


If you were going to devote your life to health and fitness, what would that path look like to you?

You Are Here...

But is Here where you want to be?

I am here and here is 256.4lbs. Here is not where I want to be. Here is not the top of my mountain. Here is where my journey has to begin for real.

And I have no excuses. I am the reason I am Here. I am the reason I gained 4lbs this week. I did not work out for 3 days. I ate too much every day. Not always bad, not always a lot, but too much. I did not follow my plan or do what I know I needed to do. And it is my fault. No one forced me to sit on my butt, no one stuffed my emotions down with food but me.

I am Here and I am the reason for it.

I am Here and I need a plan. I am Here and a I need accountability. I will keep my self accountable this week by posting meals and workouts on Twitter (please follow me if you don't already - I can use help staying accountable).

I will keep myself accountable by weighing in on Wednesday and on Sunday and posting it online. On Flab to Fab, on Facebook and on Twitter.

Workout Plan
Half Marathon Training Schedule (Cardio) Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday
Long Walks (Cardio) Wednesday, Friday (much slower than training pace)
Strength, body weight or machine training/lifting Monday, Wednesday, Friday

I know there are no rest days in this list, but when I take one rest day I take 3. Not every day will be hardcore, some will be "active rest" but I will move every day this week.

Meal Plan
Keep it at 1800 calories every day
Emphasis on Fruits and Vegetables - at least 8 servings a day
Good fats
good/lean protein
fewer grains (no more than 2 servings a day)

If you want to help keep me accountable you can follow me on Twitter or friend me on Lose It

I am Here, and I can go a little longer.



This week's Mamavation Sistahood Question, brought to you by Grunt Style - a fashion site by Veterans that helps to support those who serve and their families.


What body part are you proud of right now and why?

• I am extremely proud of my calves. They are rock solid muscle from all the hill running I have done this summer. I can't wait until more parts of my body have the same definition and strength that my calves do.

Perfect Fall Crockpot Oats

I really don't do a lot of food posts - food is so subjective to taste - but I love reading other people's food blogs and getting new ideas even if I don't follow the recipe exactly.

This morning I tweeted to the #mamavation #breakfastclub that I was eating Crockpot oats after my run for breakfast. A couple people asked me what my secret was.

Come a little closer, I'll whisper it to you....

Sweet potato. Seriously, mashed sweet potato. I know, I was amazed too. I mean, who would think a little potato would make such a huge difference?

My other secret is milk. Anytime I try to make the oats with water they turn out bland and tasteless.

So here is the recipe for Pumpkin ./ Sweet potato Crockpot oats

Ingredients

• 1C steel cut oats - not rolled, not quick, MUST be steel cut
• 4C Milk - I use 1%
• 1/2C pumpkin puree
• 1/2C mashed sweet potato - I baked about 10 sweet potatoes in the Crockpot, they slid right out of their skins and I have been adding them to all kinds of baked goods. Gave me about a quart of mashed sweet potato
• Cinnamon, nutmeg, all spice, ginger, cloves, to taste - I add about 2tsp cinnamon and a few good dashes of everything else
• 1tsp vanilla - best quality you can get

Pour everything in the pot, stir, cover, if your pot has a timer that will turn to warm set it on for 4-5 hours and leave it on warm until ready to eat. If you don't have a slow cooker with a timer set it to low, and check it in the middle of the night, switch it to warm after about 4-5 hours.

I make these before bed and breakfast is warm and ready in the morning. Depending on how much you scoop out there are easily 6-8 servings, and it makes a very hearty  breakfast.

You can reheat this in the microwave, on the stove top with a little more milk, or in the over at 500* for 5-10 minutes. I use the oven method because it is easier to clean and I don't have a microwave :)

And next time I make this, I will take pictures of all the steps and stages.

Do you have a go-to recipe you have perfected? 

Are you a breakfast eater? What is your normal breakfast fare?

3 good weeks...

And then I hit "that" time of the month. It seems that every month I do well - if not perfect then easily in the 75-80% good range of eating healthy and moving. I don't hit all my goals or make the progress I want, but I am not "standing still". And then -

Wednesday was my scheduled rest day, and I took it. And then I unintentionally took Thursday, Friday, and Saturday as rest days. And ate junk food - mostly because it was time to go shopping and we had basically no food left, but still.

Not getting my runs in for 4 days has left me angry, irritable, depressed and feeling disgusted with myself. Another month of doing at least okay and then spiraling out of control when the hormones rage. I need a new plan of attack for next month. And I need to get back on track today.


Do you have to deal with PMS or other mood/emotional situations that throw you off your game? How do you cope?

Why Can't You?

I can't. I don't want to. I don't have time. It's too hard. There are so many things we don't do because we have convinced ourselves we can't, that it is an impossible feat. Some things are impossible, others are improbable, but most things that we consider impossible are just difficult. They are out of the realm of our experience.

When I was in second grade, I assumed everyone had 3 sets of grandparents because I had 3 sets of grandparents. In 4th grade I thought everyone was Catholic, because I was Catholic. Until we are confronted with something completely outside of our experience and thought process, we have no reason to consider persepectives outside of our personal world.

I have never run a race. Not a 10K or a 5K or a half marathon, but I think that I can. I have no reason to believe I can other than my own thought that it is possible. Not only do I think it is possible, I think that I will enjoy it. I think I will enjoy it so much that I am adding to my "fitness bucket list" a new goal.

I will run 50 races in 50 states before my 45th birthday.

I know it won't be easy. I will have to train long and hard for them, and save up money to be able to travel around the country running races. That is why I am giving myself 11 years to do it. I figure that will average out to about 5 races a year - plus at least one Disney race a year. :) 'Cuz, come on, who doesn't want to run around Disney World and Disneyland. Not everyone? Seriously? Hmm, okay.

I will have to make significant changes to my life to do accomplish this goal. My eating will have to improve. My health will have to improve. My training will have to be consistent. I will probably lose weight, but if I don't change other things it is not garaunteed.

But I will do this. Starting with a 5K before Halloween and hopefully a 4.4 mile race on Thanksgiving. These races will be close to home, so New York state will be the first one checked off my list. Other states in the Northeast will be next. Possible NV if my mom stays out west. Florida and California will come early (those Disney races you know - and I want to do all of them including the Goofy Race and a Half challenge). But then I will need recommendations of what to try next.

So what are the best marathons/half marathons/10Ks/20Ks/50Ks/Mudders near you?
What races would you run?

What is on your bucket list - fitness or otherwise?

And, my Canadian readers, I am only a couple of hours from Ontario - any good races up north I should hit?

1st #Mamavation Monday Post - I deserve better

I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR on my way home from school yesterday (I love NPR, makes me feel smart when I listen :)) and they were talking about the violence in Mexico. It struck me when one caller said "I feel bad for Mexico, they deserve better than that". The host said "as we all do".

As we all do. We all deserve better. Isn't that an amazing epiphany like thought? We all deserve better. Maybe I am the only one struck by the enormity of that simply comment. Maybe it just resonates with me as I begin to realize that I deserve better. My family deserves better. My town, my state, my country, my world deserves better. Better schools, better environment, better health, better jobs, better living conditions, better governments and politicians. We have good ones, but everything can be improved. We can always strive for better.

I can't fix better for everything or everyone. But I can start with me. I can start with my family. My family deserves better. They deserve a mom/wife that is happy and healthy and fun and active. They deserve a wife/mom who loves herself and loves them as much as they could possibly be loved. They deserve a mom/wife who loves them enough to take care of herself.

When I take care of my self, my family gets the better they deserve. When I go for my runs every day my family gets the healthy happy mom they deserve. When I feel good about my self my husband gets the loving, affectionate wife he deserves. By taking care of myself I can give my family what they deserve; I can give them "better".


This isn't the same (at least in my mind) as putting myself first. I can't do that. I have too many responsibilities to put myself first. My family always comes first. But if they always come first, then ensuring that I am fit and healthy and happy takes care of their needs.

So I am going to put my family first and take care of them, and me, so they get the best; so they get what they deserve. Because they deserve better... and so do you.

What about you? Do you put yourself first? Do you consider taking care of your family and taking care of your needs the same?

Are you a priority

I had the following conversation standing in front of the yogurt case this afternoon in one of my local grocery stores (I of course was grabbing some Chobani as a starter to make yogurt tomorrow).

"It is so expensive!" 30 something mom type, to me looking at the plethora of yogurts.

"It is, that is why I make my own yogurt. I just need to get some plain for a starter..." I poke my heads towards the back of the cooler and grab the very last plain Chobani yogurt.

"You know, if you have a slow cooker at home it is so easy to make your own yogurt..." I am ready to launch into directions and websites and more when she says

"I am just so busy! I am lucky if one night a week to do things." She grabs a case of neon colored / flavored "kids" yogurt and heads down the aisle. As I watched her walk away I thought - who needs time for making yogurt? I mean it is ridiculous how easy it actually is to do. I shook my head and finished up my shopping.

As I was driving home my thoughts drifted back to that woman. I think I could qualify as super busy by just about any standards. Wife, mom to two toddlers, full time college student - What "extra" time I do have is spent on homework, reading, playing with my kidlets, and of course twitter. :) It is almost sad how addicted I have become. So time is a premium. And I am not always good at prioritizing so that my "me" time is observed.

That thought struck me again when I talked to my father this afternoon. He asked if I was keeping up with my workouts or if I had to stop again because of school. I told him, no I had been able to still fit my runs in.

And I have. I did a 30 min. run in the rain this evening before dinner. It was great. Me and the dogs, and a cold rain. I loved it. And I loved myself for the fact that I made me a priority. I made my run a priority. I made it important to get out and do what I had planned to do. I didn't let rain or lateness or lack of desire stop me. And I am glad I got out there. - Plus (little side note) I realized that nearly all of the bloggers I read that have taken off or significant amounts of weight, have regained their shape after babies, and have reclaimed their lives and their eating all run. Practically all of them. Coincidence?

What about you? Do you take the time to make you a priority?
Do you run? Why or why not?

Food Issues

Okay, everyone knows (well, lots of people know :) ) that eating is 80% of the healthy body-weight loss- fitness equation. Fantastic! If I eat right I have most of my mission conquered right there. Get in some movement that I like consistently and that is the whole package, I am all set.

Except...

What is eating right?

Is it Paleo? Low Carb, High fat, High protein, High carb, clean eating, calorie counting, carb counting, macro-nutrient counting? Do I have to count something? Do I have to give up something? Do I have to give up everything?

Next Saturday is my monthly shopping trip. I am trying to figure out how to stick within my grocery budget ($300), make approximately 100 meals (give or take) for a family of 4 for one month. That in itself is hard enough, but I need also need help in figuring out the best, the healthiest, the easiest, the most sustainable way to eat to help me conquer my food demons and lose this weight.

• So - I ask you - what eating plan / lifestyle works best for you? 
• Why? Do you make allowances for "life" (birthday parties, holidays, special occasions) or do you maintain your eating style during those times too?
• How expensive or budget friendly do you feel your way of eating is?

Any advice would be helpful and appreciated. I want to get this food monkey off my back!

Pointless

I have come to realize I do not like pointless workouts. By pointless, I mean workouts whose only purpose is make you sweat. Not that they aren't good - they certainly are and can even be loads of fun! But after a while I get bored with riding the same elliptical, doing the same leg machines, running on the "dreadmill" (I so love that word) or walking endless stair over and over again.

Now, before anyone gets mad, I am not saying these machines and workouts aren't useful, occasionally  wonderful, and often fun. I am saying I get bored. I get bored e a s y. I mean, I can't even sit and watch TV with out also reading a book or working on the computer, or playing a game or something.

I like functional fitness. 

I like running outside because I am moving, I am going someplace, I have scenery and weather and fresh air. And as much as I am coming to love running, it cannot do everything for me. I need to strength train too. 

I have loved lifting weights since I was in high school. I always loved it more than cardio. On the cardio machines I got bored and in the classes I got lost - I have no rhythm unless I am singing, and I am a super klutz so dancy-cardio easily confuses me. But with free weights or weight machines I could be strong and lift weight and felt like I did something.

I have access to a weight room here at school. And it has some good machines, and a large selection of dumbbells and barbells, but even this is beginning to leave me cold. I just don't want to take the time to do a full workout with these machines.

That is where the BodyRock website comes in for me. I love this site. If you have not checked it out, I highly recommend you do so. Look at Zuzanna. She is super fit, and the workouts she posts are the only ones she does. You could grate cheese on her abs I swear (mmm, cheese...). 

The workouts are short, intense, killer workouts. They get your heart rate up, the work your muscles, and they are (to me at least) and functional fitness workout. When you do them you do real body movements, not just limited machine movements. 

So I am adding the BodyRock workouts into my running routines. I will start off with 2-3 days a week and build up from there. Between running and bodyrocking I know I will be able to change my body!

Do you like cardio machines and classes? How about the weight machines?

Have you tried functional fitness or tabata training similar to BodyRock, what did you think of it?

Variety

If you can name a workout DVD infomercial program I probably have it.

• TurboFire, Check
• Zumba, Check
• Zumba Exhilarate, Check
• P90X, Check
• Insanity, Check
• Hip Hop Abs, Check
• the Firm, Check
• Slim in Six, Check
• Brazil Butt Lift, Check

I have them all, I have tried them all, and I have come to the realization that DVDs are not for me. I like the schedule. I like having something specific to do. Sometimes I even like the lack of planning - I don't have to think about my workout, I just have to pop in the scheduled DVD and do it. But after 2 or 3 weeks of the same program and the same rotation I am so bored I want to cry! It takes more effort and will power than I have to do the same workout even one more time. I just can't stick to the schedule. I hate it, I hate myself, and I give up on my fitness goals when I try to force myself into the DVD mold. 

But running. I love running - I tolerate treadmill running, but getting outside to do my run excites me. Every workout is different. Different air, different time, different scenery. Even when I run the same road over and over again, it changes as only the country side can change. My music is on shuffle, so I don't even get the same songs or playlist with every workout. 

And I think about getting out on the road every day. Practically every minute of every day. "When can I get my run in? How will this (weight, food, water, pace) affect my run? Should I take the boys in the stroller? Should I take the dogs? Should I go by myself?"

I see more changes in my body from running. I have rock hard calves. And I can feel tight, strong muscles in my quads - even if I can't see them yet. 

I love running, and I only wish I had found my pace and my place on the road before now.

What workouts do you look forward to? 

What is guaranteed to get you off the couch and moving?

I am not the best

It never really occurred to me before, but I am extremely competitive. I want to be the best - at everything. And if I can't be the best, I don't want to do it. I want to be the best mom, the best students, the best teacher, the best wife, the best friend, I want to be A#1 perfect.

And I am not. I am not perfect - far from it my family will be happy to tell you. And recently the monkey has decided I am not the best mommy, but I think that is just to mess with me :) 4yr olds, go figure.

I am good - in some cases very good. But I am not the best. And I need to let go of the mentality that I need to be the best. Have a good day running is better than not running - and sometimes better than be the perfect best runner. Have a good day eating is better than bingeing on cookies all day long. Getting a 97% on my test is better than the rest of the class did, and should be good enough for me (it's totally not though!)

Image from Pintrest

Getting out on the road or in the gym and doing my workout is good. Cooking and eating health foods with my family is good. Studying and doing all my homework is good. Taking the time to appreciate my life, my family, my friends, and the good fortune I do have is good. 

I don't need to be perfect. I just need to be. 

Mmm, Chicken Fingers

My boys are not all that different from your average toddlers/preschoolers. They want to run and play and jump around. They are super stubborn and that stubbornness will often show its face at meal times.

Not tonight! Earlier this week I discovered an excellent trick to making chicken nuggets from scratch instead of relying on store bought packaged nuggets chock full of things I do not want my kids eating. Yogurt, specifically Chobani yogurt (of course). I made the nuggets as chicken fingers tonight and had another successful batch, and thought it was time to share :)


Ingredients:

• 2 eggs
• 1/2 - 1 C Chobani 0% plain yogurt
• 3 chicken breast, sliced into strips or nuggets
• 1-2C whole wheat bread crumbs
• 1C rolled oats
• Garlic, pepper, onion flakes or other spices to taste
• 1T oil to fry the chicken in (I used coconut oil)

Direction

• Preheat oven to 425
• In one bowl combine bread crumbs, oats, and spices, set aside
• In a separate bowl whip together yogurt and eggs
• dip chicken pieces in egg/yogurt mixture - be sure to coat the chicken completely
• place coated chicken pieces in the bread crumb/oat coating - shake and mix to cover completely
• once all the chicken pieces or "breaded" fry lightly in oil, 1 min max on each side
• put all the chicken in an oven safe dish and bake for 10 minutes at 425 
• serve and enjoy!

The yogurt really keeps the breading on the chicken and the chicken itself moist. Monkey ate most of his (inhaled really) and Moose ate 1 finger before falling asleep in his chair :) I ate four (or um, maybe 5) myself and they were yummy! I am so glad to have a crowd pleasing chicken nugget/finger recipe that is so easy to make.

Oh - and the ranch dressing Monkey has to dip his finger was made with half mayo / half Chobani yogurt :)

Are there any family or kid-friendly favorites you have remade into a healthy meal?

Little Changes

The hubby (my wonderful hubby) had to pick me up / drop me off at school today to deal with some car issues. Unfortunately, on our way home one of the rear tires on the car completely blew out. Never a good thing, but I took advantage of the situation by fitting in a second workout. The garage we got the car towed to was straight down hill from where the tire blew. I knew that the total distance was a mile or two and thought to myself "I can at least walk down the hill and burn an extra 200 calories for the effort - that means I can eat more for dinner!"

I grabbed my sneakers out of the car, kissed the hubby, and waved as he and the tow truck driver headed down the hill.

I started up my miCoach app, set my playlist for shuffle, chose "free workout" - meaning I had no pace or distance goals for the workout - and headed down the hill.

I started off around a 17min/mile pace for my warm up and thought I would "wog" with my usual walk breaks down the hill. After my first 5 minute jogging stretch I thought "I can go a little longer".

I can go a little longer - it was my mantra down that hill. I can go a little longer. And I did. I jogged for 20 minutes straight with NO WALK BREAKS! I ran for 1.54 miles - I have never run that far without walking. I have not run a mile since high school or junior high - and even then I had to take walk breaks.

And I know that the downhill run is slightly cheating, but I am not letting it diminish my pride. I felt good when I hit the bottom of the hill. I was still thinking "I can go a little longer".

I can go a little longer. I can run a little faster. I can make a few more small changes. I got this. I can make it to my finish line this time. I can go a little longer.

429 days

It is 429 days until I turn 35 (and 63 days until 34, for those of you who are counting :)). I am sitting here, thinking about that and trying to plot out what I want to achieve for myself before I hit that birthday. I want to have goals, to have a list I can cross off to see the things I have accomplished before I hit 35. So what do I want

1. I want to lose 100lbs
2. I want to run the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon or the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon (preferably both)
3. I want to graduate college
4. I want to get a job teaching
5. I want  to get better at housekeeping

What do I need to do to accomplish these goals?
1. I want to lose 100lbs

• I need to eat clean
• I need to watch my portion sizes
• I need to eat when I am hungry, not just by the clock
• I need to get out and move everyday
• I need to plan my meals, and not just eat whatever because I am tired and bored

2. I want to run the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon or the Tinkerbell 1/2 Marathon (preferably both)

• I need to train seriously for a race of this distance
• I need to come up with the money for the registration fee, transportation, lodging, and park passes for Jacques, the boys, and me
• I need a job that I can work around school, pay my bills AND save money for this (or friends and family that want to help me by all going in together giving me the trip for my birthday and Christmas hint hint!)

3. I want to graduate college

• study, study, study
• check with the registrar to make sure there are no other classes I need besides the ones I am planning for next semester

4. I want to get a job teaching

• I need to graduate college
• take my last 2 certification exams and the Praxis so I can teach out of state if necessary
• get my name and face out to area school districts by applying to substitute teach

5. I want to get better at housekeeping

• stop procrastinating
• devote an hour every day to keeping things picked up and organized
• get up early on Saturdays to power clean 1 room of the house before everyone else is out of bed

Sorry for the wordy post, but I needed to get my wants/needs/goals down in black and white so I could plan them out and really take a look at what I need to do to have the life I want.

I deserve to be here

I walked into the weight room at my school's gym today, and almost walked right back out again. I have not been strength training in any serious way since my car accident at the beginning of summer. I love strength training. I have been lifting weights for at least 17 years (since my Y membership when I was 16). I never subscribed to the "don't lift too heavy because you'll bulk up" theory. I know that it takes some serious testerone to be able to "bulk up". I know that I build/gain muscle at a MUCH faster rate than I lose fat (mainly due to eating habits that I have never gotten under control). But I almost walked out of the weight room because it was slightly scary to be there. I felt like I didn't deserve it; I felt like I would be "judged". But I talked to myself - a little head talk - and said "just do it, you DO deserve to be here, you are working and getting healthy and who cares if these 20 something college kids judge you, just go in there, and do what you planned to do today!"

And I did. I sweated, I pumped, I pushed. I felt it in my arms (did chest and triceps today). And I looked at myself in the mirror as I finished my workout with tricep cable extensions and thought "I really do deserve to be here. I am working it, and soon that flabby part under my arm will be gone."

I do deserve to be there - and I am going back tomorrow.

Hills

So I totally missed my "blogaverissary" last week. Loser :P I started this blog September 2, 2010 and I am somewhat sad to say that I am still in a very similar place to where I was a year ago.

That is not to say that I have not grown and changed in the last year! Certainly not. I am a runner now :) Even if I still can't run a mile straight I am calling myself a runner because of the way I look at things now.

I look at the miles on my GPS from school to the boys' daycare and think how long it would take me to run it instead of drive - and that it is only a mile more than my half marathon distance.

I drive up and down all the hills in my "neighborhood" and wonder - how long would it take me to get up them - and how fast could I run down?

It has become much easier to convince myself to go for a run than to do any other kind of workout. I have in fact been meaning to start Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer series for 2 weeks now and haven't quite gotten there yet. I love her and think she is an inspiring trainer and fitness model - and I love all the stuff she has done for Oxygen Magazine. My goal for today is to finish this post and head over to the campus gym to do my 20 minutes of running (treadmill, yuck!) and do the first day of the Live Fit training. I have not lifted weights or done any serious strength training since my car accident, so it is certainly time to get started.

And as hard as it is, I love my long runs! I love going for 6, 7, 8 or more miles. I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when I am done. I love burning an entire day's worth of calories in one workout ;). I am so excited about going longer and longer distances.

Unfortunately, my training this fall may be somewhat for naught. I will not be able to do the Buffalo Creek Half-Marathon that I have been training for the last 10 weeks. The money is just not there for the drive down, a motel room, and the registration fee. I am hoping to have enough to sign up for the Out of Bounds trail run at Bristol Mountain on October 2nd and then switch my winter training to train for a spring 1/2 marathon (maybe even the Rock n Roll 1/2 in New Orleans if the gods smile upon me). I don't know why, but I feel like the 1/2 marathon is "my distance". A good struggle, something it takes dedication to complete - and not for everybody. It adds to my feeling of accomplishment when I tell people I am training for a half marathon.

At any rate I am going to find some race to run this fall - a 5K a Turkey Trot, a 10K or 1/2 marathon, I will race in something before winter sets in.

Alright - off to the gym!

Why are you fat?

"Beck, why are you fat?" This was asked of me today by the 4 year old son of my neighbor. Why are you fat.
Why am I fat? I could blame genetics - both of my parents are overweight. I could blame circumstance - I am broke and it really is harder to buy healthy foods to feed a family on our strictly limited budget. This little boy is only a year older than Jonas, and I don't want Jonas to think of me as the fat mommy. I don't want to be the fat mommy. I don't want Jonas teased for having the fat mommy like I was when I was little. I want to be fit. I want to be the cool mommy, the fun mommy, the hot mommy.

I told this little boy that I was fat because I eat too much. And I do. And I don't move enough, and I don't eat quality food. And a host of other things that really just boil down to excuses. But I will not be the fat mommy forever. I am working, and changing, and committed. I have running shoes,

and a plan :)

Right now I may be the fat mommy, but this fat mommy can run. And soon I will be the fit mommy.

Me, the "naked" truth

I have a vivid memory of being the 2nd heaviest kid in my third grade class. I weighed 91lbs in third grade - there was one girl who was a little bigger than me at 108. Still, I was big for a third grader. I have equal vivid and more painful memories of not being able to fit into any of the little league softball uniforms. I was so big my mom had to go out and buy my pants for softball at a sporting goods store in the adult section.

I never wore "junior" sizes. I went right from kids to "womens" sizes. I had hips early. I had boobs early too, but nursing two kids so close together kind of destroyed the girls. They don't have the "get up and go" they once did. I don't think I could get free drinks with them anymore either.

I played softball. I played volleyball. I rode horses. I sang, I danced, I did theater. And I was always the fat girl. I have never been skinny. I have never been fit. Only once since I was 14 have I weighed under 200 pounds, and that was due to a 3 month bout of pneumonia.

I made foolish choices because I felt like I was too fat to be loved. I did dangerous things with questionable people because I didn't think I deserved better. I ate my feelings. I still do.

I hid food, I hide food, I eat in secret. I like being alone when I eat, I do not like eating in front of people when I am really hungry. I always feel like I don't deserve to eat. The most embarrassing part of my car accident this summer was I was eating a late lunch in the car when I was hit, and I wore it for the next 9 hours. It burned me - literally and figuratively. The food and the airbag were so hot I had burns, and I burned with shame wearing the lunch I felt that I shouldn't be eating.

I hate being the fat mommy. I envy the women who did not gain weight during their pregnancy. The ones who did not get dirty looks from their doctors for gaining 5-10lbs at every appointment.

So nearly a year after starting this blog, this is where I am. Here I am, naked, exposed, letting it all hang out.

This is who I am. I am not who I want to be yet. But I think I am close to finding her.

Sometimes plans change

So I should have graduated this past spring with a degree in Adolescent Social Studies and Special Education. That did not exactly happen. I had hoped to be able to test out of subjects or take them in summer school. That did not happen the way I wanted either. I still need a couple courses to finish my degree, and there are no jobs out there for teachers right now. I mean really, like no jobs - a lot of the school districts within a 1.5hr drive from me have actually cut positions and laid off teachers.

Given this dilemma what did I decide to do? More School! I am going to add to my certifications and get a childhood education and Students with Disabilities 1-6 added to my certifications. It will only require one more semesters worth of classes. I might even add an adolescent English with classes next semester. At that point I could basically walk into a school and say, okay, I can teach kids from grades 1-12 in Special Ed, Social Studies, ELA or general classroom. Whatdaya got? :)

This does put another year of stress on my family that I didn't want, but I think that it will work out for the best in the end. And really, if I could get in a 6th or 5th grade classroom I could teach all the subjects I like!

The other newer development lately in my half marathon training has been the addition of a partner! My neighbor has been working out with my for the last few days - and we are doing some cross training this afternoon that I am excited about.

Sometimes plans change, but change can be good.

Focusing on perfection

I said earlier I read a lot of fitness and healthy living blogs. They help to keep me motivated and ready to go. I am also a member of quite a few different healthy living/eating message boards. I have noticed a running theme lately with posts from my online friends. So many people are focused on the number on the scale, and on eating perfectly. Eating to plan, staying in their calorie range, making sure they have the right calorie deficit... It makes me sad. It actually hurts my heart when I read about how they feel like failures because they work so hard and the weight isn't coming off. They have been perfect with eating and workouts and nothing is moving. I feel for them.

I can empathize, I have been stuck in the same 5lb range on the scale for a few months. I know I have not been perfect, have not done many of the things I should have to move out of that range. I have not lost the 100lbs I have dreamed of losing this year - and I certainly won't lose it in the next few months. I would be extremely happy to end the year 20lbs lighter, I would be happy to be 10lbs lighter, and I would even be okay with not being any lighter, but having increased my fitness, and my ability to run for a longer distance. I would be happy to find a lifestyle way of eating that works for me, that keeps me happy and satisfied and not running for the candy store or chips every time I get a craving. I would be happy just to have enough money to sign up for and run my half marathon in October - and to actually run more than just a few feet of it!

To my friends (and readers - though I consider you all friends too) that are striving for perfection, please give yourselves a break! I love you, and I want you to love you in the same way. I want you to be happy, I want you to realize that all the work, the consistency, the effort you have put in on your health and fitness will pay off, has paid off, is paying off. And some of you, I want you eat more. Trust me, eat a little bit more and I would bet money you see some results - you know who you are :)

Do you strive to be perfect? Is your quest for perfection actually hurting your goals? What do you think?

Writers Block

I have been having some trouble writing lately. I read a lot of health and fitness blogs, and some of these writers are amazing. They make me feel like I can get up and go and run a marathon and eat healthy and lose weight... and right now I don't feel like I can write like that. I have a bunch of post ideas winging through my brain, and little notes on them so I don't forget what I want to write about, but I don't feel inspiring enough to write some of them. I gotta find my mojo.

Honesty

I need to be honest with myself. I am eating too much, I am not eating enough clean foods, and I am not exercising enough.

The reason I am not achieving the fitness I deserve right now is all because of me. Yesterday instead of going for my run I ran an errand with my neighbor. It was nice to have girl time, but that hour and a half cost me my run. I have stayed up to late doing homework or just playing on the internet to get up early and run. I have put off exercising until it is so late I am too tired to think about running.

If I am honest with myself I am procrastinating and not doing the things I need to do. I have to make it a priority to get healthy. Being healthy and fit needs to be more important to me than anything else or it is not going to happen.

I need to make me important.

And the winner is...

Julia! Julia, email me your details, and I will set you up with Chobani so you can order your case of super awesome yogurty goodness.

Last Chance!

Today is your last chance to enter to win a free case of Chobani Greek yogurt! Enter here and read my review of this truly amazing yogurt. I will be picking a winner tonight based on all the entries (through random.org). Don't miss your chance!

Travel update and my first review/giveaway!

First -
So I am in Las Vegas for a few days to visit/care for my mom after she had surgery to replace her knee. Unfortunately she has not been allowed to come home from the hospital since I got here. On top of not actually being able to see my mother, the moose and I have been brought low by the heat since getting to Vegas. Stomach troubles, general heat exhaustion - we haven't even made it to the pool!

However today is a new day. We are getting out, going to the dog park, going swimming, and I will be working out (finally) tonight in the awesome fitness center at my mom's apartment complex.

And now...
If you have read this blog for a while you know that I usually make my own yogurt. I love the ease of making my yogurt and knowing that only what I put in (milk, yogurt, extra dry milk powder) is in my yogurt. However, making yogurt doesn't always work for me. Due to the drafty and often cold nature of my old farmhouse kitchen, sometimes my yogurt fails. It can't maintain the right temp long enough, or my starter was too old, or whatever. When this happens I am always disappointed and need to get myself to the store to buy some more yogurt - some for starter, and some to eat right away (because by this point I need yogurt and granola and fruit). When I buy yogurt, there is really only one type I buy.

Chobani

If you have not had Greek style yogurt before, you are truly missing out. I was never really a yogurt fan until I tried Greek yogurt. Thick and creamy, tangy and filling - it really can be used as a healthy sour cream substitute - high in protein and healthy probiotics. There is almost nothing better than Greek yogurt for a snack  or breakfast or dessert...

So, Chobani yogurt. There are multiple reasons to love this company.

1. Their slogan, "Nothing But Good". Quality wholesome ingredient, nothing artificial and harmful or just plain yucky.
2. Their location - Chobani's plant is located in the central New York farming/dairy region. Near my mother's hometown, near my grandmother and aunts and cousins. In an area that has been hit hard not only by the latest recession but by general economic downturn for many years. Any company that is not only doing business, but is good to their employees and customers in this part of my beloved state needs to be supported. 
3. It is just plain good! This is the creamiest, yummiest, best tasting yogurt I have ever tried in my entire life! 

I have been buying Chobani as my yogurt starter and I-need-yogurt-now yogurt for a while, but I only ever tried the 0% plain. I did not know what I was missing. The fruit yogurts are not like the fruit on the bottom (basically just jelly/jam) in some other yogurts. The essence of the fruit is blended into a creamy thick absolutely decadent OMG how can this be good and healthy yogurt. And then there are fruit pieces on the bottom. Actual pieces of the fruit, lightly sweetened with evaporated cane juice instead of high fructose corn syrup. Chobani has 14 amazing flavors - plain 0 & 2%, vanilla, black cherry, mango, lemon, blueberry, strawberry, strawberry-banana, pineapple, raspberry, honey, peach, and pomegranate. 

I did not actually get to try all the flavors - a certain moose and monkey ate some and wouldn't let mommy try a bite. They did seem to love the strawberry, the strawberry-banana, and the peach. The pineapple, the lemon, the blueberry were all excellent and far beyond anything else I have tried. I am hoping the honey will still be there when I get home next week so I can try that.  But the raspberry and the pomegranate; heaven, absolute heaven!

The pomegranate and raspberry flavors were everything you could hope for in a yogurt and more. They can calm any sweet tooth, they taste like dessert, they are filling and decadent. I really can't say enough good things about them - and I am very sad that Chobani's distribution hasn't reached Vegas yet because I have been dreaming of yogurt every day. I will continue to make yogurt - and use Chobani as my starter, but I will also be finding room in my grocery budget for a decent supply of the raspberry and pomegranate flavors just for me :)

Now for the giveaway details! Chobani has offered to send a case of yogurt to one very lucky reader - the winner can choose what flavors they want in their special case - a variety, all one flavor, whatever they want!

To enter to win you need to:

1. Become a follower of this blog and leave a comment telling me you are a follower (mandatory)
2. follow me on Twitter - leave a separate comment
3. follow Chobani on twitter - leave a separate comment
4. Like Chobani on Facebook - leave a separate comment
5. send this blog out to whatever social media sites you use - leave a separate comment

1 entry for each comment :) Winner will be chosen by Random.org. The contest will on Saturday July 30th and the winner will be announced by August 1st. Don't miss out on your chance to get some great yogurt!

Even babies and dogs like Chobani :)

*Disclaimer - I contacted Chobani about doing a review, they sent me the yogurt with no conditions and offered the giveaway. I was under no obligation to print any kind of review, the opinions here are completely my own*


**ETA - Unfortunately this giveaway is limited to US residents, Chobani is unable to ship to Canada at this time. **

Things I have to look out for when I run...

I do not have to worry much about cars, or dogs, or even other people when I run... these are what I do have to worry about

The deer like to wait in the vineyards and cornfield and jump out in front of L'il Girl to see if she will chase them

I haven't actually seen the coyotes yet, but a pack lives in my woods and I can hear them when I run at twilight. And when they howl and it's getting dark and you swear they are getting closer... creepy

When we first moved out here the former owner told us he scared off a bear from the back yard. We have heard repeated stories about the bears in this area. I never saw a single bear. Until today! I was in the car, but         the bear was on my running trail. Sat right next to the side of the road and waited for me to pass by and then crossed the road after me. I tried to get a picture, but it was back into the woods too quick. So cool though.

Of course if this is the price for views like this

 I'll pay it

Clutter house = cluttered body

I was listen to Jillian Michaels'  latest podcast today. In it she talked about making your home a sanctuary and how various parts of your home reflect you - or should. The part that really struck home with me today was how if you kitchen is a mess, if it is cluttered and disorganized it is reflective of how you feel-think-act towards your health. Wow. Anyone who knows me in "real life" knows that I am a slob. I don't mean to be, I don't want to be, I am getting help to be different, but this is my reality at least for now. And my kitchen is very often a DISASTER. Right now it is certainly not awesome-ness but in general it is far better than it has been in the past and certainly above and beyond when it has been the worst. In  the last month it has been not too bad. And in the last month I have been focusing more and more on my health, my fitness, my weight loss, my need for a clean and organized mind/body/life. 

When I focus on me I notice the chaos around me. I care. I want to be different. When I focus on everyone/thing else, I see the chaos, but I don't care. I mean I care if it is approaching health hazard state, but I am so worn down and tired and overwhelmed by everything that I just can't seem to find the... I don't the whatever to deal with the chaos.

You hear over and over again how its important - especially for women - to make yourself a priority when you are trying to be fit and healthy. Mom needs to put herself first sometimes because she will be happier and that will make her a better, stronger, happier mother. And if you are a mother (or woman or caregiver of any kind) that advice tends to go in one ear and out the other. But in this last month or so I have put myself, well not necessarily first, but at least not last. And as I move "me" up the priority list I am happier, I do feel better, I am a better wife and mother. And I am positive that when I get to be #1 on the list I will have the clean and organized kitchen to prove it. I'll even post pictures.

Rested yesterday, 4 more miles today including speed/C25K training.

My new favorite lunch

Homemade gazpacho, homemade hummus, fresh bell pepper, fresh cucumbers, little mozzarella pearls in my soup. Super yum.

Business to Blogger

My main purpose for writing this blog is to keep myself accountable to others as I travel on my fitness journey. I enjoy the writing, the comments, and the friendships I have formed through doing this.

And while my main goal is not about making money or supporting myself and my family through the blog, I know that extra income is possible - along with interesting products to review. With that in mind when I saw a Business2Blogger button on a new blog I have been following (Mommy to Marathon) I thought it was worth checking out.

Business 2 Blogger connects businesses with bloggers (simple right). It gives both a chance to expand and reach a broader market base. I am excited that it will give me a chance to reach out to fitness themed businesses that can help me and my readers o our fitness journeys.

So I have signed up with Business 2 Blogger - so you may see posts in the future that I am asked to post or review. This will be a good thing, it will give me a chance for a little extra money to help my family and it will help my readers learn about new ideas or products that they may not get a chance to see otherwise. Of course anything you see on here will still be up front and honest, and if I write a post, paid or not, everything stated will be my true opinion, so when I recommend something it is because I truly believe in it.

My first Vlog :)

Be gentle with me :) 6.5 more miles today

Walking to the neighbors for a little cookout - they got me veggie burgers :) aren't they sweet!

Adding my miles

I am on my way to keeping up my mileage challenge. :)

4 miles today.

I do need some suggestions on music to help me go the "extra mile". What do you have on your playlist that helps you keep going?

Journey of 1111.11 miles - can I still make it?

Last November I set out to walk/run/jog "wog" :) 1111.11 miles by 11/11/11. It was a completely reasonable and doable goal at the time and I could totally have made it (be well on my way with over 500 miles by now) if I had stuck with my walking.

But I didn't stick with it. I procrastinated, I let other things get in the way, I put myself last, and I spent a good portion of the first half of the year not working out at all. I'm still having trouble getting in my workout in every day, but I think if I commit and work hard I could still do this - or at least come very close. It would require walking between 8&9 miles a day on average, or 60 miles a week, but I really believe if I do this right, I can come damn close - so right now my goal is 20,000 steps or 10 miles a day at least 6 days a week. I am going to have to get a new pedometer to help - at least until I can afford a Fitbit or Bodymedia  device.

A large part of getting myself on track with this will be when I go out to Vegas in a couple weeks to visit my mom. I plan to use her state of the art fitness facility in her apartment complex to its full advantage while I am there.

So I will be a walking wogging stepping phenom in short order!

How do you make grown up friends?

I had an attack of the binges last night, piling unhealthy food on top of unhealthy food, trying to fill a void and stuff my feelings. It didn't work, I knew I was doing it and I actually made a concious decision at one point not to stop.

I really couldn't tell you why. I think it stemmed mainly from boredom and loneliness. I sent the hubby into town to have a birthday celebration with his friends - he doesn't do enough fun for himself. But even though I wanted him to go, I was a little resentful. Not that he went, but that not only didn't I get to go, but I won't have a similar situation pop up. I really don't have "live" friends anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love my virtual friends and the support they give me, but I miss have girlfriends that I can go out with, and talk, or go shopping, or get coffee, or hell even just sit on the pier and chain smoke at 2AM (I occasionally miss smoking too, but it makes me horribly sick now). I miss going out with the girls and having girls to go out with. As much as I love my country life, it is a bit isolated.

Coupled with my tendency to be introverted (I am shy, but people who know me never believe that. I have trouble making new connections, but once I know a person I am a sharer) the isolation leads to an increased difficulty in finding new friends. And it becomes easier to hide behind my weight and blame that as a reason people won't talk to me and why I can't make friends.

BUT I did wake up this morning in a good mood, with no desire to even look at the unhealthy food I ate last night. I made King Arthur Flour English Muffin Bread before I went to bed last night using honey instead of sugar, whole wheat flour and a little flax seed for a fiber boost and it was ready this morning. The monkey, who rarely eats anything and almost never touches bread, ate 3 slices of this toasted with raspberry jam on it. I had about 2 slices - hard to tell as certain monkey & moose children kept stealing it from me - with low-fat cheddar cheese. I made gazpacho this afternoon (fresh salsa you can eat by the bowlful!) and I feel more in control of myself today. Still lonely, but that's okay.

How do you make grown up friends in "real life"?

Weight loss is simple

... but it isn't easy! I was listening to a podcast today (by the way, anyone with a smaryphone - stitcher.com podcast app AWESOME!) called logical weight loss and I was struck by the profound-ness of that statement. Weight loss is simple, eat less, move more (for most of the population) but if it was easy there would be no weight loss bloggers, or industries devoted to losing weight or a new fad diet every day-week-month-year. I know what I need to do to lose weight and get fit. Don't eat junk, don't eat more than I need, don't procrastinate. Do move more, do workout, do eat clean and healthy. And yet... last night, when I wanted to go to bed, I was tired and falling asleep, and instead of going to bed like I needed to I stayed up another 3 hours munching on half a bag of potato chips. I binged half the night and couldn't sem to get full. I sabotaged myself - and I knew I was doing it.

I need to concentrate on me, on doing the things I need to do to be healthy and be a help to my family, and I need to figure out why I do things to sabotage myself.

Weight loss is simple, but it isn't easy.

Best Food

So you may have been seeing or hearing in the news lately about which are the best and worst foods for you - I know I see it everywhere! One of the best foods out there (and the thing that is really keeping me from going vegan) is yogurt! Especially plain Greek style yogurt. It has filling protein, healthy probiotics, good for you calcium, and makes a truly fantastic substitute for sour cream in many dishes.

Coming soon to a blog near you - a review of Chobani Greek yogurt and a giveaway! Details will be coming in the next few days, so be on the lookout!