I deserve to be here

I walked into the weight room at my school's gym today, and almost walked right back out again. I have not been strength training in any serious way since my car accident at the beginning of summer. I love strength training. I have been lifting weights for at least 17 years (since my Y membership when I was 16). I never subscribed to the "don't lift too heavy because you'll bulk up" theory. I know that it takes some serious testerone to be able to "bulk up". I know that I build/gain muscle at a MUCH faster rate than I lose fat (mainly due to eating habits that I have never gotten under control). But I almost walked out of the weight room because it was slightly scary to be there. I felt like I didn't deserve it; I felt like I would be "judged". But I talked to myself - a little head talk - and said "just do it, you DO deserve to be here, you are working and getting healthy and who cares if these 20 something college kids judge you, just go in there, and do what you planned to do today!"

And I did. I sweated, I pumped, I pushed. I felt it in my arms (did chest and triceps today). And I looked at myself in the mirror as I finished my workout with tricep cable extensions and thought "I really do deserve to be here. I am working it, and soon that flabby part under my arm will be gone."

I do deserve to be there - and I am going back tomorrow.