Pumpkins in the Park 2012 Recap

Ran my second Pumpkins in the Park 5K yesterday. This was the first race I ever ran when I did it last year, and it was fun to run it again already knowing what the course had in store for me. I ran it a little slower than last year (44:23 this year, 42:18 last year) but this is the cost of not running all summer. Still, I had fun, I had a cute costume, I got out for a run and over all had a good day. And some day I will remember to take more pictures of things to add to my blog but as I forgot again, here is the one picture of me in my costume after the race :)

I received many compliments on my tutu, and I was quite proud that I made it myself. I have one planned for my Turkey Trot in brown and orange and another for the It's a Wonderful Race in red and green :).

Anyone else get out and race this weekend?

The struggle continues

I still want a cigarette, but it is not so bad anymore. I have made through the most difficult first three days, and I know I will make it through the rest. Now I need to run. I need to really run, to get back into the groove of running or run/walking 3-5 days a week. I need to be strong and find a strength training program that does not bore me so I can stick with it.

I think I have found a job. Certainly not what I wanted to be doing, but good enough for now, and something I would not feel bad about leaving in 10 months or less if I get the chance to teach somewhere.

I need to train. I am running 4 races this fall. a 10K 10/20/12 in PA & a 5K in Rochester (October), a 4M in Webster (Thanksgiving), a 5K in Seneca Falls (December). I want to stay busy and strong and healthy. So I will struggle on to find my groove of health and happiness.

I want a cigarette.

I quit smoking 4 years ago when I got pregnant with the moose. For years afterwards the smell or taste or even one drag off a cigarette would make me nauseous.

And then I moved to New Orleans without my family. A month of stress and schools and more stress, and a night out with a couple of fellow teachers and I bought my first pack of cigarettes in 4 years. And then I kept buying. Add more stress of losing my job and coming back to New York... I really want a cigarette. But the Monkey did not like to see me smoking. I did not like smoking in front of him. So I promised him I would finish my pack and there would be no more cigarettes. Mommy would not smoke anymore. About 18 hours in, and I really want a cigarette. But I do not have any. I will not go to the store to get any. I will not "bum" one from anyone. I know a few days of cold turkey will power and it will be better. And I know I will continue to want a cigarette for years. The problem with an addiction is you really don't ever get 100% over it. At least I did not.

I am going to focus on moving my addictive tendency to something healthier at least. In my efforts to help me through the roughest part of quitting, I am going to get a treadmill (probably from Craigslist or garage sales) and every time I feel the desperate need for a cigarette, get on and log a mile. My goal is at least 3 miles or more a day through the winter so I can go into Spring healthier than I have been for many years. I have also signed up for 4 races in the next 3 months. Forces me to go for runs/walks - I already spent the money on the race fees - and means that after the first one I can't take a break from running for too long, because another race is just around the corner. I am going to try and find one every 4-5 weeks to get me all the way into spring.

Not everything is going how I pictured it. Losing my job and coming back to New York is not what I planned. Running races and being happy with my family is what I planned, and if New York  is where that happens for me for now, I will make the best of it and concentrate on health and happiness and loving my family. The rest is just details.