Haters

So I got my first internet "hater" today...

Basically some random person on Instagram asked me "How can you be a coach when your (their misspelling, not mine) not in shape."

I could take this 2 ways. I could cry and hide and delete the comment and worry about how I can be a good or effective lifestyle coach with Beachbody extolling the virtues of health and nutrition and fitness when I am not in perfect shape myself (YET!)

OR

I could continue to inspire others on THEIR OWN journeys to health and fitness. The journey that begins with a small step that is often hard to take. The journey that started for me 4 years ago when I weighed over 300lbs. The journey that has helped me lose 70lbs in 4 years.

I began my Beachbody journey a LOOOONNNNNGGGG time ago (back when Power 90 was really the only thing out there). I started and stopped and started and stopped and started and stopped... you know the deal right? I lost a little, I lost a lot. I have plateaued for over a year. I gave up on myself and believed again. I gave up again. I believed again.

But throughout my journey - this one that I have been on for most of my life I have done at least one thing. I have been HONEST with my online community.

I am not perfect. I have 50lbs of fat to lose. I don't eat perfect every day. I don't always commit to my workouts. I give up and then start again. I do that a lot.

Since becoming a Beachbody Coach a little over a year ago, I never give up on myself for long. I never give up on my clients. I push and check in and motivate and encourage myself and others. I help. I listen. I offer tips and tricks and ideas and more importantly than anything else, I offer wisdom from someone who has BEEN THERE. Someone who is still on the journey. Someone who knows exactly how hard the struggle can be.

I am there for anyone who wants help with their struggle. Free. No charge - if you choose to take advantage of some awesome programs and supplements and nutrition, GREAT. If you want to pay it forward and help others by becoming a coach FANTASTIC. If all you want is someone to listen and maybe help motivate you out the door on a one mile walk - I will be there.

So thank you random internet hater. If you chose to spend the time to comment and try to tear me down, I must be doing something right.

Running Buddies

.

I have not been running. Considering that I have a race in 9 days that is not a good thing. But after applying for jobs today, I came home and decided to go for a 3 mile run with my boys before dinner. Running buddies make all the difference.

The Monkey, Running Buddy #1 (always tries to get me to go on late night runs).

 The Moose, Running Buddy #2 (any run over 1 mile and he falls asleep)

We did a pretty fast 3 miles considering the hills and the 100+ lbs of stroller and kids. I am hoping to get a job soon - talked to a staffing agency today - but the best ones will require an 1.5hr one way drive. I am more than willing to do it, but it means that I am going to get my butt out of bed at 4 every morning if I want to run outside.

 Me, after a 3 mile run, feeling fantastic!

I also need to be more dedicated and consistent in my runs. I need a gigantic in my face push every day. So I decided to take my window crayons and write my running schedule for the next few days. I know the monkey will look at it when he gets home from school and if I have not checked off my run, he will want to go with me. I am going to write strength training on the other window.

3 miles down this week, 10 more to go.

The struggle continues

I still want a cigarette, but it is not so bad anymore. I have made through the most difficult first three days, and I know I will make it through the rest. Now I need to run. I need to really run, to get back into the groove of running or run/walking 3-5 days a week. I need to be strong and find a strength training program that does not bore me so I can stick with it.

I think I have found a job. Certainly not what I wanted to be doing, but good enough for now, and something I would not feel bad about leaving in 10 months or less if I get the chance to teach somewhere.

I need to train. I am running 4 races this fall. a 10K 10/20/12 in PA & a 5K in Rochester (October), a 4M in Webster (Thanksgiving), a 5K in Seneca Falls (December). I want to stay busy and strong and healthy. So I will struggle on to find my groove of health and happiness.

All I want for Christmas...

... is a treadmill. Seriously. Any treadmill companies out there that want to set me up with a treadmill to review and use for the next few months or the year or whatever, I will be grateful! I need a treadmill because I have not been able to get out for a decent run in about 2 weeks. seriously, my last good run was on the treadmills at school, and that was 2 weeks ago. The weather around here has not been awful, but it has been too cold/damp most of the time to take 2 squirmy boys that have been sick out in the jogging stroller for a decent run, and the hubby has been more less out of town for 2 weeks. The days he has been home, the schedule has not been conducive to getting out to run - but if I had had a treadmill those days, I could totally have gotten a super awesome run in anyway.

I of course have DVDs I can workout to at home, but the thought of using them has left me so depressed I cannot even put on my workout clothes. Getting back into strength training is also taking far more effort than I would like. It seems to me like everything is taking too much effort these days...

I am still working on the Paleo eating, and most days it is going pretty well. I am not stressing myself on trying to be perfect through the holiday season, but I am striving to do well every day indulge only in things I really love. No eating something junky just because it is there. And through some wonderful forums and websites and blogs devoted to the Paleo lifestyle, I am getting some fantastic ideas of things to eat, ways to cook them, and so on. So many great ideas that I think I will be able to shop very well for the coming month when I head to the store next week.

As the year comes to a close (and another "fat" birthday has passed) I am feeling a bit better than I have in a while. I am not where I want to be, but I finally feel like I am on the path to get there.

So 'Licious - Mamavation Monday

"So 'licious, so yummy" ~ the Moose "Mommy, my dinner is very alicious tonight" ~ the Monkey.

I had a tough week. Tuesday the boys starting throwing up while we were an hour from home grocery shopping. They continued all night Tuesday night. Wednesday the Moose was better, but the Monkey was so bad I got scared enough to take him to the emergency room. 7 hours (3 on an IV drip) later, he finally looked, talked, and felt like himself again. He still did not want to eat though, so on Thursday, when he told me he was hungry I was trying to shove whatever food I could into my little boy. 

I made him hot chocolate, macaroni and cheese, plied him with granola bars. No go. Grilled chicken, a big fat salad, and some Paleo style eggs worked. My carb-rific kids did some paleo eating of their own this weekend as I adjusted to eating differently. They drank all of my coconut milk (darn them!) They kept eating all my eggs, they gobbled the veggies out of my salad, and stole broccoli cooked in coconut oil off my plate. All the while they told me it was so alicious or so yummy.

My week overall was not good in terms of general stress level, workouts, or anything else. I got kicked out of one of my presentation groups at school (last minute, on Wednesday when I spent the day at the hospital) and told I would have to find something else to do for that grade. It's okay now, I got it taken care of, but it was one more stress that I did not need. I tried to get oil for my furnace, only to be told that HEAP benefits have been cut and it has not been opened yet this year. I am lucky to have an electric blanket and a space heater in the boys' room, because my house will be chilly this winter. I caught attitude from a grocery store cashier when I tried to get all natural peanut butter using WIC (my family is struggling hardcore while I am in school, so I use every available means to keep us afloat and look forward to June when I will have graduated, and pray to the gods that I have a job) when they tried to tell me I could only get the store brand - which isn't true, and I contested it. 

My head is all over the place, and I feel like I am falling behind in my life, trying to do everything I need to do. My mamavation Monday post today is late, rambling, doesn't make a whole lot of sense, so I appreciate the efforts of everyone who took the time to read it. Next week I will be more coherent, I promise.

Race Report and a Call For Help

Okay, I am way late with my race report on my first race!

Saturday October 29, 2011 I ran the Pumpkins in the Park 5K in Rochester, NY at Cobbs Hill Park. I grew up in a suburb of Rochester and have moved away and back to the area more times than I would care to admit.

On the Thursday before the race we had our first official snowfall of the season. Big fat flakes coating my yard in white. The snow nixed my initial race outfit of lightweight capris and my Race Ragz tech shirt. A desperate call to my mother provided me with warm compression tights to run in on Saturday.

I almost did not get to the race on time. I live in the middle of nowhere (seriously, NOWHERE) and my house is difficult to find in full daylight. At 5AM in the pitch black it is impossible! My mom was picking me up (she was in town staying with some friends for a long weekend) and taking me to the race. She got lost a couple of times and only got to my house at 7:00AM. The race started at 9, and registration (which I still needed to do) opened at 7:30 - and I live 1.5 hours away from the city. I bundled my half sleeping boys into the car, grabbed my bag to make sure I had everything and we were off.

I drove way faster than was legal just fast enough to get there in time. A pleading call to my dad (my parents are divorced, but very friendly, which makes my life so much easier) had him registering me to ensure a spot at the starting line. We managed to find the perfect parking spot - right at the starting line! I put on my shoes, grabbed my fanny pack and phone, and ran inside to the bathroom (a long drive, a large coffee... had to pee before the start). With 2 minutes to spare I got outside and at the starting line, ready to go.

It was a costume race, and there were some great costumes. Unfortunately the one thing I forgot to throw in my bag was my camera. Next time, I promise!

I had my miCoach app running, my 2:1 run / walk timer set, I was ready to go! The starting gun went off and on mass the crowd moved. I started with a v v e e r r r y y slow jog and kept that up for a good portion of the first mile. I started actually listening to my run/walk timer at about 10 minutes - when I was out of sight of most spectators! :D

The course itself is quite hill, but it is nothing compared to my daily running route! The hills outside my front door are higher and steeper, so I really felt like I had a training advantage on those hills. I was able to run up at least part of every one.

I passed the first mile at 13:26 - easily my fastest mile for starting out. I felt like my pacing was good throughout the race, and I followed my timer after the first 10 minutes, without taking any extra walk breaks. Mile 2 was a little slower (mostly uphill) at 14:46 - still faster than my average pace. My face hurt at that point from all the smiling! Mile 3 looped around the reservoir and was downhill to the finish. Downhill for most of the last mile! Mile 3 had me at 12:53! The fastest mile I have run since high school, maybe even junior high! I crossed the finish line, sprinting it out for the last few hundred feet, at 42:18. My goal for the race was 45:00 so, I was more than 2:30 better than my race goal!

I rode the high of that race for the whole day, and a good part of Sunday. Unfortunately I seemed to take a downturn after that. I have not really gotten a good run in since the race. I feel apathetic and unmotivated. I want to sit around and eat candy and kind of give up on getting fit and healthy. Of course at the same time I want to run another race (4.4 mile Turkey Trot) on Thanksgiving, and another in December, and another and another and another! The race was great, and I can't wait to run more. I just need to find my motivation again.

Do you have any motivation tips? A way I can find my get up and go again?


How about races? Ever run one, or are you planning a race?

Faster

Wow - training and consistency work! I am actually running faster - faster than I can ever remember, faster than I was a few months ago... I can look back over my training and see how much I have improved. I can even look at this point and I can tell when I have the stroller with me and when I don't. The stroller adds a minute to a minute 30 to my per mile pace. My per mile pace is around a solid 15:30-15:00 (fast enough for runDisney! :) )

And do you see that right there? My pace tonight was UNDER 15:00 per mile! And I ran at 9:30 at night (yep, night) in the pitch black on my empty country road. Great run, no cars, no people, nothing but coyotes howling in the distance. I will do similar dark runs again, but the dogs and my flashlight/headlamp will come with me every time.

I have not hit all my weekly goals this week, but I am moving forward and feeling really good about it.

Pointless

I have come to realize I do not like pointless workouts. By pointless, I mean workouts whose only purpose is make you sweat. Not that they aren't good - they certainly are and can even be loads of fun! But after a while I get bored with riding the same elliptical, doing the same leg machines, running on the "dreadmill" (I so love that word) or walking endless stair over and over again.

Now, before anyone gets mad, I am not saying these machines and workouts aren't useful, occasionally  wonderful, and often fun. I am saying I get bored. I get bored e a s y. I mean, I can't even sit and watch TV with out also reading a book or working on the computer, or playing a game or something.

I like functional fitness. 

I like running outside because I am moving, I am going someplace, I have scenery and weather and fresh air. And as much as I am coming to love running, it cannot do everything for me. I need to strength train too. 

I have loved lifting weights since I was in high school. I always loved it more than cardio. On the cardio machines I got bored and in the classes I got lost - I have no rhythm unless I am singing, and I am a super klutz so dancy-cardio easily confuses me. But with free weights or weight machines I could be strong and lift weight and felt like I did something.

I have access to a weight room here at school. And it has some good machines, and a large selection of dumbbells and barbells, but even this is beginning to leave me cold. I just don't want to take the time to do a full workout with these machines.

That is where the BodyRock website comes in for me. I love this site. If you have not checked it out, I highly recommend you do so. Look at Zuzanna. She is super fit, and the workouts she posts are the only ones she does. You could grate cheese on her abs I swear (mmm, cheese...). 

The workouts are short, intense, killer workouts. They get your heart rate up, the work your muscles, and they are (to me at least) and functional fitness workout. When you do them you do real body movements, not just limited machine movements. 

So I am adding the BodyRock workouts into my running routines. I will start off with 2-3 days a week and build up from there. Between running and bodyrocking I know I will be able to change my body!

Do you like cardio machines and classes? How about the weight machines?

Have you tried functional fitness or tabata training similar to BodyRock, what did you think of it?

I deserve to be here

I walked into the weight room at my school's gym today, and almost walked right back out again. I have not been strength training in any serious way since my car accident at the beginning of summer. I love strength training. I have been lifting weights for at least 17 years (since my Y membership when I was 16). I never subscribed to the "don't lift too heavy because you'll bulk up" theory. I know that it takes some serious testerone to be able to "bulk up". I know that I build/gain muscle at a MUCH faster rate than I lose fat (mainly due to eating habits that I have never gotten under control). But I almost walked out of the weight room because it was slightly scary to be there. I felt like I didn't deserve it; I felt like I would be "judged". But I talked to myself - a little head talk - and said "just do it, you DO deserve to be here, you are working and getting healthy and who cares if these 20 something college kids judge you, just go in there, and do what you planned to do today!"

And I did. I sweated, I pumped, I pushed. I felt it in my arms (did chest and triceps today). And I looked at myself in the mirror as I finished my workout with tricep cable extensions and thought "I really do deserve to be here. I am working it, and soon that flabby part under my arm will be gone."

I do deserve to be there - and I am going back tomorrow.

Weight loss is simple

... but it isn't easy! I was listening to a podcast today (by the way, anyone with a smaryphone - stitcher.com podcast app AWESOME!) called logical weight loss and I was struck by the profound-ness of that statement. Weight loss is simple, eat less, move more (for most of the population) but if it was easy there would be no weight loss bloggers, or industries devoted to losing weight or a new fad diet every day-week-month-year. I know what I need to do to lose weight and get fit. Don't eat junk, don't eat more than I need, don't procrastinate. Do move more, do workout, do eat clean and healthy. And yet... last night, when I wanted to go to bed, I was tired and falling asleep, and instead of going to bed like I needed to I stayed up another 3 hours munching on half a bag of potato chips. I binged half the night and couldn't sem to get full. I sabotaged myself - and I knew I was doing it.

I need to concentrate on me, on doing the things I need to do to be healthy and be a help to my family, and I need to figure out why I do things to sabotage myself.

Weight loss is simple, but it isn't easy.

Finding friends in the digital world

One of the things I like best about blogging, and chatting and social media websites is the ability to meet up with people with similar goals or challenges. People like Emily  or so very many of the women on the Tosca Reno boards. People on the Blog To Lose site or my major support site of the last 5 years, Sparkpeople. My weight fluctuates up and down, I struggle with food, life, motivation, and in person support, but my virtual friends remain satisfyingly constant. I don't think I would have made it this far, signed up for a half marathon or gone vegetarian with out all the support I find online.

So thank you to all my friends I have never met in person. I value you all so much!

Nothing like a shopping trip to depress/motivate you...

257.0
"disco" dancing with Jonas

So I had set aside money to buy some clothes - a couple pairs of jeans, some shirts... so that I had more than 1 pair of jeans to wear. Yeah, that did not happen. I found jeans, and technically they "fit" but how I looked in them was unacceptable. UNACCEPTABLE! I had severe muffin top. And "front butt" - visible "front butt". It was awful. I practically wanted to throw up I looked so awful.

So that was a swift and depressing message that I need to get moving and change my lifestyle. I was truly disgusted with myself. I bought a pack of t-shirts and a tie-dye kit, 2 pairs of sweat pants and a light hoodie jacket. I will not live like this. It really did gross me out.

So  - since I was joining an end of the year ChaLEAN Extreme challenge anyway, I have decided to kick it up a notch. I will complete the ChaLEAN Extreme challenge/program and add Couch to 5K training onto it.

1. Monday/Wednesday/Friday (Strength or Rest days anyway) I will get up before taking the boys to daycare and do the strength training portion of my program. After dropping them off I will either run near the house, or if the weather prevents it I will make sure to leave for school early enough to run on the treadmills at school. 
2. Tuesdays I will do Zumba and one of Chalene's Ab programs (from Turbo Jam, CLX or TurboFire)
3. Thursdays I will do TurboFire and wither BBL or an ab program
4. Saturday I will do CLX
5. Sunday I will BBL or Hip Hop Abs