I have been scared to put that on my blog - to announce to the "world" (my fabulous followers and who ever else happens to stumble across my blog :)) that I was suffering from depression. There is such a stigma attached to it that I am scared that it would hurt my chances to get a job, or get insurance or any number of other things in the future. But the medication is helping me. I am enjoying my children and my husband more, I am looking forward to getting out of bed every day. I don't want to cry all the time, I don't want to spend all my time on the couch. I want to do things and be fit. If I had the coordination I would turn cartwheels every day. It is amazing to be free of the emotional weight that was holding me down for so long. I had been depressed for such a long time that I couldn't remember not feeling like I was constantly standing on the edge.
One of the wonderful things that my medication (Welbutrin, if anyone wants to know - I can't say enough good things about it) has helped me do is to have the motivation to work out again. And stick with it. And view it as a lifestyle change. Listening to Chalene's audio program has helped me mentally define my goals for 2011. Here they are:
- Lose 118 lbs (112 now, down 6 pounds in the last 3 weeks)
- Complete Turbo Fire, ChaLEAN Extreme and a Hybrid of the two
- Graduate College
- Get my teaching certification
- Get a teaching job!
I vow that one year from now people will not recognize me. I will look like a completely different person. I will be the person that has been locked inside myself for so long. I am the fit, healthy person I have always wanted to be.
