Overwhelmed by Information

I have been lifting weights since I was 15 years old. Way before it was "cool" or even very common for women to lift anything heavier than a vinyl covered 3lb dumbbell. I have tried every variation of every program there has ever been - I think almost literally. I have lifted light weights for a ridiculous amount of reps. I have lifted heavy weights for 6-8 reps. I have done body weight, I have done free weights, I have done machines. And I feel like I have never really made real progress. I admit I have had issues sticking with stuff sometimes. But when months of consistent and ridiculously hard work have yielded little visible results, it gets harder and harder to keep going.

Starting my Leptin Rx six weeks ago the program meant no working out. My muscles are/were sugar burners, not fat burners. I need to work on changing my brain chemistry and body chemistry so that I burn fat. Now that I have meet most of the change requirements, I am ready to start getting back into exercise. And I feel a little mental pressure in that I am getting some interest from schools out of state to teach next year. I want to be in the best shape of my life when I start teaching in 5-6 months. So I am trying to figure out a program that with 6 months of hard dedicated work will yield some visible results. I just don't know what to do anymore. One of the Beachbody programs I already have? Something cobbled together from my fitness magazines? Something from one of the countless exercise books I have? Something from any number of DVD programs? I just don't know anymore. I love lifting weights, I feel strong when I do it, but I feel like I need some structure, and my brain just isn't up to figuring it out right now. Part of me thinks I should do a program I have that is laid out for 90 days so I don't have to think about it, but I get so bored... I don't want to start the same program I have started and never made it past 2 weeks again... I haven't even watched most of the workouts because I never get that far in the program...

I just feel a little hopeless and confused right now (as well as extra fat and out of shape today). I need to do something, but what?

Goals not met so far...

Okay, I have been having serious trouble meeting my goals for January - as evidenced by the fact that I have not been posting everyday as was my initial intention. I have not been working out very much either.

On the plus side, I have been following my primal WOE (way of eating - I like this so much better than "diet") with a good 80/20 success rate. I know I eat more dairy and nuts than recommended (I have been keeping it full fat and organic as much as possible) and I have nibble on hot dogs (not recommended) and ranch dressing (has "modified food starch - a clever way to say "wheat") which I suspect has stalled my progress somewhat. I gained 5lbs the first week on PB (Primal Blueprint) putting me at 259, but that has come back down to 253.4 - and I suspect another pound or two has come off since I weighed myself last week, but as I have no heat right now (ran out of oil for the furnace, can't get a delivery until Monday, been 35-45 in my house for 4 days!), I am not getting undressed to weigh myself any time soon!

When I have low carbed and tried Paleo or clean eating in the past I have never let go of my splenda, or "Atkins approved" treats... so I had never had the taste bud shift. This time (while I still use Stevia in my coffee) I have avoided treats in general this month. So the other day when I made a steak for dinner and dipped a bite in steak sauce, my first reaction was "OMG how much sugar is in this stuff!" - apparently 2g per serving, and a serving ain't all that big! My new preferred steak sauce is a dash of sea salt and a pat of organic butter, so good - I could eat my weight in steak when it is prepared right! :)

So, I will eventually LHT (Lift Heavy Things) most likely using ChaLEAN Extreme, I will sprint using Turbo Fire, and I will get in lots of movement running or using my NordicTrack Ski machine. I know if I follow these PB "laws" I will see the success I want!

ChaLEAN Extreme and Turbo Fire

This is what you get when you let a four year old monkey boy pick your workout programs. He likes the ones with the girls best :)

I have not gotten out to run since Sunday. I am hoping that I will be able to tomorrow. Food has been pretty good., Higher carb and a bit of sugar today - but the sugar was in the form of craisins and a tsp of honey instead of the nutter butter bar that smelled so good...

I have done 2 days of CLX and 2 Turbo Fire HIIT workouts. I think I am going to do INSANITY too at least for January. Might as well go hardcore for the 4 weeks that I do not have anything else taking up my time.

Cold

Too cold to run outside with the boys again today. I think the temp is going back up tomorrow. I need a treadmill ...

I have tons of DVDs I could have done today, but the thought of them left me cold so I decided to "rest" today. Now I am off to bed to get some real sleep.

Day 1 CLX

I asked the monkey which program I should start. He decided on the one "with the girl" :) He has always had a thing for blondes. So today was day 1 of ChaLEAN Extreme. I did not get my miles in today - blizzard like conditions meant I couldn't get outside with the boys and the timing did not work going by myself.

Paleo eating was good today - although cravings for chocolate have been hitting fairly hard. I am getting some blood tests tomorrow and not eating anything until late afternoon - getting my thyroid, vit D and cholesterol checked. Maybe some other things too. I am hoping something will shed light on my "failure to progress" in improving my shape.

Variety

If you can name a workout DVD infomercial program I probably have it.

• TurboFire, Check
• Zumba, Check
• Zumba Exhilarate, Check
• P90X, Check
• Insanity, Check
• Hip Hop Abs, Check
• the Firm, Check
• Slim in Six, Check
• Brazil Butt Lift, Check

I have them all, I have tried them all, and I have come to the realization that DVDs are not for me. I like the schedule. I like having something specific to do. Sometimes I even like the lack of planning - I don't have to think about my workout, I just have to pop in the scheduled DVD and do it. But after 2 or 3 weeks of the same program and the same rotation I am so bored I want to cry! It takes more effort and will power than I have to do the same workout even one more time. I just can't stick to the schedule. I hate it, I hate myself, and I give up on my fitness goals when I try to force myself into the DVD mold. 

But running. I love running - I tolerate treadmill running, but getting outside to do my run excites me. Every workout is different. Different air, different time, different scenery. Even when I run the same road over and over again, it changes as only the country side can change. My music is on shuffle, so I don't even get the same songs or playlist with every workout. 

And I think about getting out on the road every day. Practically every minute of every day. "When can I get my run in? How will this (weight, food, water, pace) affect my run? Should I take the boys in the stroller? Should I take the dogs? Should I go by myself?"

I see more changes in my body from running. I have rock hard calves. And I can feel tight, strong muscles in my quads - even if I can't see them yet. 

I love running, and I only wish I had found my pace and my place on the road before now.

What workouts do you look forward to? 

What is guaranteed to get you off the couch and moving?

BodyrockTv - Tabata Training

No I am not quitting TurboFire or ChaLEAN Extreme, but I am adding in something new to keep things interesting. Someimes I just cannot do a hour long workout. I cannot even break it up into two sessions. I would rather train super super hard for 20-30 minutes than train hard for 60 minutes. And I would always rather lift weights than do cardio. THat said I know I need all of these things in my life, so...

Check out this link BodyRockTV and the super hot Zuzana (I am so energy depleted from my workout I can't even type right now!) All her workouts are done at home, many without equipment, most bodyweight exercises and this is ALL SHE DOES! Did you see those abs! I want her body - and if this is what she does to get it, I can do it too! So I am adding some of these workouts - maybe not the full ones just yet - to my morning routine. Nothing better to get the heart pumping first thing in the morning.

No one will recognize me

I have been doing Turbo Fire without fail every day for the last 20 days. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night - doesn't matter, I get it done every day. I have also been listening to Chalene Johnson's motivation audio program that comes with the ChaLEAN Extreme program 2-3 times a day. And for the last 5 weeks I have been taking anti-depressants.

I have been scared to put that on my blog - to announce to the "world" (my fabulous followers and who ever else happens to stumble across my blog :)) that I was suffering from depression. There is such a stigma attached to it that I am scared that it would hurt my chances to get a job, or get insurance or any number of other things in the future. But the medication is helping me. I am enjoying my children and my husband more, I am looking forward to getting out of bed every day. I don't want to cry all the time, I don't want to spend all my time on the couch. I want to do things and be fit. If I had the coordination I would turn cartwheels every day. It is amazing to be free of the emotional weight that was holding me down for so long. I had been depressed for such a long time that I couldn't remember not feeling like I was constantly standing on the edge.

One of the wonderful things that my medication (Welbutrin, if anyone wants to know - I can't say enough good things about it) has helped me do is to have the motivation to work out again. And stick with it. And view it as a lifestyle change. Listening to Chalene's audio program has helped me mentally define my goals for 2011. Here they are:

1. Lose 118 lbs (112 now, down 6 pounds in the last 3 weeks)
2. Complete Turbo Fire, ChaLEAN Extreme and a Hybrid of the two
3. Graduate College
4. Get my teaching certification
5. Get a teaching job!

I vow that one year from now people will not recognize me. I will look like a completely different person. I will be the person that has been locked inside myself for so long. I am the fit, healthy person I have always wanted to be.

So frustrated!

2 miles (so far)
ChaLEAN Extreme - on the agenda
1-2 more miles - on the agenda
264.6 - WTF?

Okay, for the last month or two my weight has gone up up up everyday. I know my exercising has been haphazard at best and my eating hit or miss, but there has NOT been enough miss for 14lb increase so quickly. It is frustrating t say the least. And for the last week I keep going to bed early or falling asleep on the couch early. I only wish it could be pregnancy (it CAN'T be, not possible, don't speculate) because then it would be explainable.

On the upside, we are almost at Thanksgiving break for school, which will give me lots of time to work on projects for the end of the semester. And we are almost at the end of the semester, which will give me a week or two to work on me before starting my Field Period and student teaching. I wish I was in better shape for student teaching, but that is certainly not the point now.

AND my double stroller should be here today or tomorrow. I am hoping for today, and if it comes I will be taking a walk around the village with the boys when I pick them up from daycare.

Now it is off to get the moose dressed and take him to daycare, then home for the rest of my work out and some homework.

One month until my birthday

It is only one month until my birthday. I will be 33 and over 250lbs - still. Last year I wrote a blog post on Sparkpeople about how I did not want to make the same birthday vow to eat better and workout and be in better shape... and I will make exactly that same vow this year. It is depressing. I know that organization and planning is the key to changing my life and I haven't been able to get it together. I am bored and unhappy and unmotivated and I hate feeling like this!


I am upset with myself that I never really seemed to find my stride with this year. I didn't find an exercise program I could stick with and my eats have been totally all over the place. 

I feel like running is the way to go for me, so I am going to concentrate on my C25K and add in some strength training 2 days a week - probably ChaLEAN Extreme because it targets the whole body... And today I am going to go on a long walk/jog with my boys. Probably in their stroller for most of it (the baby for the whole thing) and just try to have some fun and enjoy the bright crisp fall day. I live in such a beautiful area and I feel like I never take advantage of it. So I am going to dedicate at least one day a week to taking a long hike/walk with the boys. Get some fresh air and sunshine (or at least as much sunshine as is possible in Western New York...) I feel good about that idea. I feel like this will help me reconnect and feel better about myself too. Maybe I can even get a jogging stroller and take the boys running with me all the time - with some really good warm clothes and one of those insulating wind block things!

Proper Form

Ah the difference proper form makes! Yet another reason that I love ChaLEAN Extreme is that Chalene Johnson explains the proper form for strength training moves AND SHOWS YOU! She has one of the participants on the DVD show the proper and improper form. I have been lifting weights for easily 15 years and in all that time I have been doing dead lifts wrong. I had always heard that dead lifts were great for the butt and legs and never ever felt them targeting the areas they were supposed to when I was doing them. Until today! Hours later I can feel the movement in my glutes and hamstrings too. Every step up the stairs is a mini session in pain - the good kind - and I feel vindicated that I really worked today.

I worked out this morning - in spite of oversleeping by about 3 hours - but I did not get my run in. I ate clean all day and avoided (no matter how much I wanted them) sweets in sticking to part of the "Gorgeous Glutes" challenge I am in on the Tosca Reno boards.

I also have at least one more reader than I knew of! :) One of my fellow students not only told me he has read a couple of my blogs, but that I looked like I had lost weight. Thanks Pete - that really made my day!

ChaLEAN Extreme

252.2
ChaLEAN Extreme, Burn Circuit 1

I started ChaLean Extreme today and I think I am going to like it. From what I have heard the cardio in it gets repetitive, so I will add some of the other BeachBody programs I have, C25K and Zumba to mix up the cardio. I am looking forward to this, and I am proud of myself for getting in my workout even with the moose hanging on and adding his own resistance...

And I have said "no" to the cheese puffs all day! :)

On the downside of my day, somehow I managed to accidently erase all the video off of Jacques` hard drive. I didn't actively erase anything, so I don't know how it happened, but it has certainly put a damper on my weekend.