You Are Here...

But is Here where you want to be?

I am here and here is 256.4lbs. Here is not where I want to be. Here is not the top of my mountain. Here is where my journey has to begin for real.

And I have no excuses. I am the reason I am Here. I am the reason I gained 4lbs this week. I did not work out for 3 days. I ate too much every day. Not always bad, not always a lot, but too much. I did not follow my plan or do what I know I needed to do. And it is my fault. No one forced me to sit on my butt, no one stuffed my emotions down with food but me.

I am Here and I am the reason for it.

I am Here and I need a plan. I am Here and a I need accountability. I will keep my self accountable this week by posting meals and workouts on Twitter (please follow me if you don't already - I can use help staying accountable).

I will keep myself accountable by weighing in on Wednesday and on Sunday and posting it online. On Flab to Fab, on Facebook and on Twitter.

Workout Plan
Half Marathon Training Schedule (Cardio) Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday
Long Walks (Cardio) Wednesday, Friday (much slower than training pace)
Strength, body weight or machine training/lifting Monday, Wednesday, Friday

I know there are no rest days in this list, but when I take one rest day I take 3. Not every day will be hardcore, some will be "active rest" but I will move every day this week.

Meal Plan
Keep it at 1800 calories every day
Emphasis on Fruits and Vegetables - at least 8 servings a day
Good fats
good/lean protein
fewer grains (no more than 2 servings a day)

If you want to help keep me accountable you can follow me on Twitter or friend me on Lose It

I am Here, and I can go a little longer.



This week's Mamavation Sistahood Question, brought to you by Grunt Style - a fashion site by Veterans that helps to support those who serve and their families.


What body part are you proud of right now and why?

• I am extremely proud of my calves. They are rock solid muscle from all the hill running I have done this summer. I can't wait until more parts of my body have the same definition and strength that my calves do.

How do you make grown up friends?

I had an attack of the binges last night, piling unhealthy food on top of unhealthy food, trying to fill a void and stuff my feelings. It didn't work, I knew I was doing it and I actually made a concious decision at one point not to stop.

I really couldn't tell you why. I think it stemmed mainly from boredom and loneliness. I sent the hubby into town to have a birthday celebration with his friends - he doesn't do enough fun for himself. But even though I wanted him to go, I was a little resentful. Not that he went, but that not only didn't I get to go, but I won't have a similar situation pop up. I really don't have "live" friends anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I love my virtual friends and the support they give me, but I miss have girlfriends that I can go out with, and talk, or go shopping, or get coffee, or hell even just sit on the pier and chain smoke at 2AM (I occasionally miss smoking too, but it makes me horribly sick now). I miss going out with the girls and having girls to go out with. As much as I love my country life, it is a bit isolated.

Coupled with my tendency to be introverted (I am shy, but people who know me never believe that. I have trouble making new connections, but once I know a person I am a sharer) the isolation leads to an increased difficulty in finding new friends. And it becomes easier to hide behind my weight and blame that as a reason people won't talk to me and why I can't make friends.

BUT I did wake up this morning in a good mood, with no desire to even look at the unhealthy food I ate last night. I made King Arthur Flour English Muffin Bread before I went to bed last night using honey instead of sugar, whole wheat flour and a little flax seed for a fiber boost and it was ready this morning. The monkey, who rarely eats anything and almost never touches bread, ate 3 slices of this toasted with raspberry jam on it. I had about 2 slices - hard to tell as certain monkey & moose children kept stealing it from me - with low-fat cheddar cheese. I made gazpacho this afternoon (fresh salsa you can eat by the bowlful!) and I feel more in control of myself today. Still lonely, but that's okay.

How do you make grown up friends in "real life"?

Weight loss is simple

... but it isn't easy! I was listening to a podcast today (by the way, anyone with a smaryphone - stitcher.com podcast app AWESOME!) called logical weight loss and I was struck by the profound-ness of that statement. Weight loss is simple, eat less, move more (for most of the population) but if it was easy there would be no weight loss bloggers, or industries devoted to losing weight or a new fad diet every day-week-month-year. I know what I need to do to lose weight and get fit. Don't eat junk, don't eat more than I need, don't procrastinate. Do move more, do workout, do eat clean and healthy. And yet... last night, when I wanted to go to bed, I was tired and falling asleep, and instead of going to bed like I needed to I stayed up another 3 hours munching on half a bag of potato chips. I binged half the night and couldn't sem to get full. I sabotaged myself - and I knew I was doing it.

I need to concentrate on me, on doing the things I need to do to be healthy and be a help to my family, and I need to figure out why I do things to sabotage myself.

Weight loss is simple, but it isn't easy.

Veggie-girl

Vegetarian-vegan. The idea has seriously scared me in the past. My best friend in high school went veg almost 20 years ago - I flirted briefly for about a week to be cool but never made the switch.

Until now! 3 weeks so far meat free. I am having trouble giving up cheese though. The creamy melty-ness of cheese is hard to resist - and hard to replace. And almost nothing compares to the comfort-food factor of cheese. But there is almost nothing that triggers a desire to overeat in me more than cheese does. So I am making a switch and cutting it completely out of my life.

In my new quest to live an animal-product free life ( at least for me I am not forcing anyone to make the switch with me) I am researching and discovering a variety of ethnic dishes and figuring out how to make them at home. Yesterday was hummus (OMG! on the yummy scale) today is falafel (baked), fresh pitas, and my own creation of a veggie filled Thai inspired satay stew. Tomatoes, zucchini, onions, mango chunks, peanut butter, garlic, a dash of brown sugar, and a tasty hit of Sirrachi. Mmm, yummy!

So I am going to spend the summer making tasty vegan and vegetarian treats from around the world and inside my head and post the results here. I will also get back to updating my fitness progress and programs. Happy eating and exercising to us all!