Changes, still making changes

I started my Beachbody journey in December of 2009 (for the 3rd or 4th time) with Turbo Jam and Power 90 at 290+ pounds. I started, I stopped. I started, I stopped. I did this over and over again. I was fat fat fat. I had Postpartum Depression, I hated myself and my body. I couldn't stand to have my husband look at me, let alone touch me. I had serious gallbladder disease (and had to get it taken out in 2010). I did P90X in the summer of 2010 - 84 days of it. And I hated every minute. I was not losing weight. I was not losing inches. I was eating crap and fooling myself that it was okay. I would binge, I would eat in secret... I had problems. I did 1 week of Insanity, and "rested" for 4 or 5 months. I started Turbo Fire in January of 2011 and made it through a month before I started student teaching. Not that I did the program right. Hated long workouts, never made it past Fire30 and the HIITs. Made some changes, dropped some weight (not a lot. I hovered between 280 - 270, up and down, up and down...) I was in a car accident in June of 2011 and extremely lucky to walk away with a broken wrist and scrapes and bruises. The ambulance took me to the trauma center in the nearest big city because "no one will believe you walked away from that wreck alive".

The accident took a physical toll on me, and an emotional one on my marriage. I found running and inconsistently ran and did strength training at my college fitness center. Still ate crap, made some changes and hovered around 260-270. On Antidepressants, but still emotionally scarred. Running more consistently and in the winter of 2012 moved to a more whole foods based diet. Stayed in the 250s but far more flab than anything else.

Then something (inspiration, lightning bolt, cosmic head slap) hit me. I decided to become a beachbody coach. I restarted TurboFire (still not "really" following, but better) and I got Body Beast. Whoa. Serious changes ahead!

Since January of 2013 the weight on the scale has only gone down another 10lbs - but now I bounce around the low 240s, and the bouncing gets lower every week. The BIGGEST changes have come since June 2013 (around Summit). I am getting help with my emotional issues. I am changing more and more for the better every day!

Body Beast has contributed the most to my physical changes. Some measurements have not gone down much, but that is because my body composition is changing so much. Consistency is the key. When I truly committed to myself and my journey each small change added up. Again and again. Good choices led to more changes and better choices and more changes - a perpetual cycle. I am not done, but I am firmly on the path.

Since the beginning of my journey I have lost about 50lbs, completed a half marathon and learned to love and appreciate what my body can do for me when I take care of it. This isn't the end, but the beginning...

Goals not met so far...

Okay, I have been having serious trouble meeting my goals for January - as evidenced by the fact that I have not been posting everyday as was my initial intention. I have not been working out very much either.

On the plus side, I have been following my primal WOE (way of eating - I like this so much better than "diet") with a good 80/20 success rate. I know I eat more dairy and nuts than recommended (I have been keeping it full fat and organic as much as possible) and I have nibble on hot dogs (not recommended) and ranch dressing (has "modified food starch - a clever way to say "wheat") which I suspect has stalled my progress somewhat. I gained 5lbs the first week on PB (Primal Blueprint) putting me at 259, but that has come back down to 253.4 - and I suspect another pound or two has come off since I weighed myself last week, but as I have no heat right now (ran out of oil for the furnace, can't get a delivery until Monday, been 35-45 in my house for 4 days!), I am not getting undressed to weigh myself any time soon!

When I have low carbed and tried Paleo or clean eating in the past I have never let go of my splenda, or "Atkins approved" treats... so I had never had the taste bud shift. This time (while I still use Stevia in my coffee) I have avoided treats in general this month. So the other day when I made a steak for dinner and dipped a bite in steak sauce, my first reaction was "OMG how much sugar is in this stuff!" - apparently 2g per serving, and a serving ain't all that big! My new preferred steak sauce is a dash of sea salt and a pat of organic butter, so good - I could eat my weight in steak when it is prepared right! :)

So, I will eventually LHT (Lift Heavy Things) most likely using ChaLEAN Extreme, I will sprint using Turbo Fire, and I will get in lots of movement running or using my NordicTrack Ski machine. I know if I follow these PB "laws" I will see the success I want!

ChaLEAN Extreme and Turbo Fire

This is what you get when you let a four year old monkey boy pick your workout programs. He likes the ones with the girls best :)

I have not gotten out to run since Sunday. I am hoping that I will be able to tomorrow. Food has been pretty good., Higher carb and a bit of sugar today - but the sugar was in the form of craisins and a tsp of honey instead of the nutter butter bar that smelled so good...

I have done 2 days of CLX and 2 Turbo Fire HIIT workouts. I think I am going to do INSANITY too at least for January. Might as well go hardcore for the 4 weeks that I do not have anything else taking up my time.

Race Report and a Call For Help

Okay, I am way late with my race report on my first race!

Saturday October 29, 2011 I ran the Pumpkins in the Park 5K in Rochester, NY at Cobbs Hill Park. I grew up in a suburb of Rochester and have moved away and back to the area more times than I would care to admit.

On the Thursday before the race we had our first official snowfall of the season. Big fat flakes coating my yard in white. The snow nixed my initial race outfit of lightweight capris and my Race Ragz tech shirt. A desperate call to my mother provided me with warm compression tights to run in on Saturday.

I almost did not get to the race on time. I live in the middle of nowhere (seriously, NOWHERE) and my house is difficult to find in full daylight. At 5AM in the pitch black it is impossible! My mom was picking me up (she was in town staying with some friends for a long weekend) and taking me to the race. She got lost a couple of times and only got to my house at 7:00AM. The race started at 9, and registration (which I still needed to do) opened at 7:30 - and I live 1.5 hours away from the city. I bundled my half sleeping boys into the car, grabbed my bag to make sure I had everything and we were off.

I drove way faster than was legal just fast enough to get there in time. A pleading call to my dad (my parents are divorced, but very friendly, which makes my life so much easier) had him registering me to ensure a spot at the starting line. We managed to find the perfect parking spot - right at the starting line! I put on my shoes, grabbed my fanny pack and phone, and ran inside to the bathroom (a long drive, a large coffee... had to pee before the start). With 2 minutes to spare I got outside and at the starting line, ready to go.

It was a costume race, and there were some great costumes. Unfortunately the one thing I forgot to throw in my bag was my camera. Next time, I promise!

I had my miCoach app running, my 2:1 run / walk timer set, I was ready to go! The starting gun went off and on mass the crowd moved. I started with a v v e e r r r y y slow jog and kept that up for a good portion of the first mile. I started actually listening to my run/walk timer at about 10 minutes - when I was out of sight of most spectators! :D

The course itself is quite hill, but it is nothing compared to my daily running route! The hills outside my front door are higher and steeper, so I really felt like I had a training advantage on those hills. I was able to run up at least part of every one.

I passed the first mile at 13:26 - easily my fastest mile for starting out. I felt like my pacing was good throughout the race, and I followed my timer after the first 10 minutes, without taking any extra walk breaks. Mile 2 was a little slower (mostly uphill) at 14:46 - still faster than my average pace. My face hurt at that point from all the smiling! Mile 3 looped around the reservoir and was downhill to the finish. Downhill for most of the last mile! Mile 3 had me at 12:53! The fastest mile I have run since high school, maybe even junior high! I crossed the finish line, sprinting it out for the last few hundred feet, at 42:18. My goal for the race was 45:00 so, I was more than 2:30 better than my race goal!

I rode the high of that race for the whole day, and a good part of Sunday. Unfortunately I seemed to take a downturn after that. I have not really gotten a good run in since the race. I feel apathetic and unmotivated. I want to sit around and eat candy and kind of give up on getting fit and healthy. Of course at the same time I want to run another race (4.4 mile Turkey Trot) on Thanksgiving, and another in December, and another and another and another! The race was great, and I can't wait to run more. I just need to find my motivation again.

Do you have any motivation tips? A way I can find my get up and go again?


How about races? Ever run one, or are you planning a race?

Running Blog

I have noticed that more and more of my posts have become about running (or at least mention it) and I am okay with this. :) This is moving into being a running blog, and running makes me happy.

I think about running all day. It's first in my brain when I wake up, last thing I think about before I go to sleep, and I even have had dreams about it. It lifts my mood better than anything except the joy I get in my hubby and my kids.

So more posts will talk about my runs, the things I think about on my runs, the things that running makes me feel. And as of Saturday there will be race recaps too - my first race is Pumpkins in the Park and I cannot wait. I'm going to have a little pirate theme rockin' for the race. I'll be sure to get pics :)

I hope I don't lose readers (I value all of you so much) as I grow and figure out my place in the world of running blogs. I know there will be struggles along the way, and the advice and support I get from my tweeps and readers is really what keeps me going.

So come on in, take off your sneakers, grab a cup of coffee (the pot is always on) and tell me your story. We have so much to talk about.

Faster

Wow - training and consistency work! I am actually running faster - faster than I can ever remember, faster than I was a few months ago... I can look back over my training and see how much I have improved. I can even look at this point and I can tell when I have the stroller with me and when I don't. The stroller adds a minute to a minute 30 to my per mile pace. My per mile pace is around a solid 15:30-15:00 (fast enough for runDisney! :) )

And do you see that right there? My pace tonight was UNDER 15:00 per mile! And I ran at 9:30 at night (yep, night) in the pitch black on my empty country road. Great run, no cars, no people, nothing but coyotes howling in the distance. I will do similar dark runs again, but the dogs and my flashlight/headlamp will come with me every time.

I have not hit all my weekly goals this week, but I am moving forward and feeling really good about it.

If I Had a Million Dollars

Have you ever had the "if I won the lottery" day dream?

No? Just me? Hmm, maybe it's because I am always broke...

Anyway, there have been commercials on TV for the latest Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. I am not planning on entering, but the giveaway/prize is $1million dollars and $5000 a week for life. That is the part that always interests me. You could blow through $1 million pretty quick and be in a worse situation than you were before, but with money coming in every week, if you were the least bit responsible, you would really be set for life. Not an extravagant life, but a nice comfortable middle class one (that is really what I aspire to).

And I think to myself, I I won $5000 a week for life and didn't have to work, what would I do? Would I still want to be a teacher? Maybe, I really do love being in a classroom, and if I was not dependent on the salary, I think I would teach at least part time, and probably in an economically disadvantaged school.

But I don't think teaching would be my primary passion. I think I would want to devote my life and my work to getting healthy and fit, to getting my family and loved ones healthy and fit and to teaching/helping other people be healthy and fit.

And when I think of that, I think of the scene in the movie Office Space where the main character asks another "What would you do if you had a million dollars" (I would link to it, but the language is a little PG13) and he goes on to say (basically) your answer to what you would do if you didn't need money is what you should be doing with your life, because that is what would make you happy.

So I am left thinking, if I would devote my life to getting healthy and getting other people to be healthy and fit - what should I be doing now instead of trying to be a teacher? Am I on the wrong path? And if I am on the wrong path, what should I do so that I can merge my current path with one that will allow me to bring health and fitness to myself and others?


What would you do if you didn't have to worry about money?


If you were going to devote your life to health and fitness, what would that path look like to you?

You Are Here...

But is Here where you want to be?

I am here and here is 256.4lbs. Here is not where I want to be. Here is not the top of my mountain. Here is where my journey has to begin for real.

And I have no excuses. I am the reason I am Here. I am the reason I gained 4lbs this week. I did not work out for 3 days. I ate too much every day. Not always bad, not always a lot, but too much. I did not follow my plan or do what I know I needed to do. And it is my fault. No one forced me to sit on my butt, no one stuffed my emotions down with food but me.

I am Here and I am the reason for it.

I am Here and I need a plan. I am Here and a I need accountability. I will keep my self accountable this week by posting meals and workouts on Twitter (please follow me if you don't already - I can use help staying accountable).

I will keep myself accountable by weighing in on Wednesday and on Sunday and posting it online. On Flab to Fab, on Facebook and on Twitter.

Workout Plan
Half Marathon Training Schedule (Cardio) Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday
Long Walks (Cardio) Wednesday, Friday (much slower than training pace)
Strength, body weight or machine training/lifting Monday, Wednesday, Friday

I know there are no rest days in this list, but when I take one rest day I take 3. Not every day will be hardcore, some will be "active rest" but I will move every day this week.

Meal Plan
Keep it at 1800 calories every day
Emphasis on Fruits and Vegetables - at least 8 servings a day
Good fats
good/lean protein
fewer grains (no more than 2 servings a day)

If you want to help keep me accountable you can follow me on Twitter or friend me on Lose It

I am Here, and I can go a little longer.



This week's Mamavation Sistahood Question, brought to you by Grunt Style - a fashion site by Veterans that helps to support those who serve and their families.


What body part are you proud of right now and why?

• I am extremely proud of my calves. They are rock solid muscle from all the hill running I have done this summer. I can't wait until more parts of my body have the same definition and strength that my calves do.

Why Can't You?

I can't. I don't want to. I don't have time. It's too hard. There are so many things we don't do because we have convinced ourselves we can't, that it is an impossible feat. Some things are impossible, others are improbable, but most things that we consider impossible are just difficult. They are out of the realm of our experience.

When I was in second grade, I assumed everyone had 3 sets of grandparents because I had 3 sets of grandparents. In 4th grade I thought everyone was Catholic, because I was Catholic. Until we are confronted with something completely outside of our experience and thought process, we have no reason to consider persepectives outside of our personal world.

I have never run a race. Not a 10K or a 5K or a half marathon, but I think that I can. I have no reason to believe I can other than my own thought that it is possible. Not only do I think it is possible, I think that I will enjoy it. I think I will enjoy it so much that I am adding to my "fitness bucket list" a new goal.

I will run 50 races in 50 states before my 45th birthday.

I know it won't be easy. I will have to train long and hard for them, and save up money to be able to travel around the country running races. That is why I am giving myself 11 years to do it. I figure that will average out to about 5 races a year - plus at least one Disney race a year. :) 'Cuz, come on, who doesn't want to run around Disney World and Disneyland. Not everyone? Seriously? Hmm, okay.

I will have to make significant changes to my life to do accomplish this goal. My eating will have to improve. My health will have to improve. My training will have to be consistent. I will probably lose weight, but if I don't change other things it is not garaunteed.

But I will do this. Starting with a 5K before Halloween and hopefully a 4.4 mile race on Thanksgiving. These races will be close to home, so New York state will be the first one checked off my list. Other states in the Northeast will be next. Possible NV if my mom stays out west. Florida and California will come early (those Disney races you know - and I want to do all of them including the Goofy Race and a Half challenge). But then I will need recommendations of what to try next.

So what are the best marathons/half marathons/10Ks/20Ks/50Ks/Mudders near you?
What races would you run?

What is on your bucket list - fitness or otherwise?

And, my Canadian readers, I am only a couple of hours from Ontario - any good races up north I should hit?

1st #Mamavation Monday Post - I deserve better

I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR on my way home from school yesterday (I love NPR, makes me feel smart when I listen :)) and they were talking about the violence in Mexico. It struck me when one caller said "I feel bad for Mexico, they deserve better than that". The host said "as we all do".

As we all do. We all deserve better. Isn't that an amazing epiphany like thought? We all deserve better. Maybe I am the only one struck by the enormity of that simply comment. Maybe it just resonates with me as I begin to realize that I deserve better. My family deserves better. My town, my state, my country, my world deserves better. Better schools, better environment, better health, better jobs, better living conditions, better governments and politicians. We have good ones, but everything can be improved. We can always strive for better.

I can't fix better for everything or everyone. But I can start with me. I can start with my family. My family deserves better. They deserve a mom/wife that is happy and healthy and fun and active. They deserve a wife/mom who loves herself and loves them as much as they could possibly be loved. They deserve a mom/wife who loves them enough to take care of herself.

When I take care of my self, my family gets the better they deserve. When I go for my runs every day my family gets the healthy happy mom they deserve. When I feel good about my self my husband gets the loving, affectionate wife he deserves. By taking care of myself I can give my family what they deserve; I can give them "better".


This isn't the same (at least in my mind) as putting myself first. I can't do that. I have too many responsibilities to put myself first. My family always comes first. But if they always come first, then ensuring that I am fit and healthy and happy takes care of their needs.

So I am going to put my family first and take care of them, and me, so they get the best; so they get what they deserve. Because they deserve better... and so do you.

What about you? Do you put yourself first? Do you consider taking care of your family and taking care of your needs the same?