Goals not met so far...

Okay, I have been having serious trouble meeting my goals for January - as evidenced by the fact that I have not been posting everyday as was my initial intention. I have not been working out very much either.

On the plus side, I have been following my primal WOE (way of eating - I like this so much better than "diet") with a good 80/20 success rate. I know I eat more dairy and nuts than recommended (I have been keeping it full fat and organic as much as possible) and I have nibble on hot dogs (not recommended) and ranch dressing (has "modified food starch - a clever way to say "wheat") which I suspect has stalled my progress somewhat. I gained 5lbs the first week on PB (Primal Blueprint) putting me at 259, but that has come back down to 253.4 - and I suspect another pound or two has come off since I weighed myself last week, but as I have no heat right now (ran out of oil for the furnace, can't get a delivery until Monday, been 35-45 in my house for 4 days!), I am not getting undressed to weigh myself any time soon!

When I have low carbed and tried Paleo or clean eating in the past I have never let go of my splenda, or "Atkins approved" treats... so I had never had the taste bud shift. This time (while I still use Stevia in my coffee) I have avoided treats in general this month. So the other day when I made a steak for dinner and dipped a bite in steak sauce, my first reaction was "OMG how much sugar is in this stuff!" - apparently 2g per serving, and a serving ain't all that big! My new preferred steak sauce is a dash of sea salt and a pat of organic butter, so good - I could eat my weight in steak when it is prepared right! :)

So, I will eventually LHT (Lift Heavy Things) most likely using ChaLEAN Extreme, I will sprint using Turbo Fire, and I will get in lots of movement running or using my NordicTrack Ski machine. I know if I follow these PB "laws" I will see the success I want!

I deserve to be here

I walked into the weight room at my school's gym today, and almost walked right back out again. I have not been strength training in any serious way since my car accident at the beginning of summer. I love strength training. I have been lifting weights for at least 17 years (since my Y membership when I was 16). I never subscribed to the "don't lift too heavy because you'll bulk up" theory. I know that it takes some serious testerone to be able to "bulk up". I know that I build/gain muscle at a MUCH faster rate than I lose fat (mainly due to eating habits that I have never gotten under control). But I almost walked out of the weight room because it was slightly scary to be there. I felt like I didn't deserve it; I felt like I would be "judged". But I talked to myself - a little head talk - and said "just do it, you DO deserve to be here, you are working and getting healthy and who cares if these 20 something college kids judge you, just go in there, and do what you planned to do today!"

And I did. I sweated, I pumped, I pushed. I felt it in my arms (did chest and triceps today). And I looked at myself in the mirror as I finished my workout with tricep cable extensions and thought "I really do deserve to be here. I am working it, and soon that flabby part under my arm will be gone."

I do deserve to be there - and I am going back tomorrow.