All I want for Christmas...

... is a treadmill. Seriously. Any treadmill companies out there that want to set me up with a treadmill to review and use for the next few months or the year or whatever, I will be grateful! I need a treadmill because I have not been able to get out for a decent run in about 2 weeks. seriously, my last good run was on the treadmills at school, and that was 2 weeks ago. The weather around here has not been awful, but it has been too cold/damp most of the time to take 2 squirmy boys that have been sick out in the jogging stroller for a decent run, and the hubby has been more less out of town for 2 weeks. The days he has been home, the schedule has not been conducive to getting out to run - but if I had had a treadmill those days, I could totally have gotten a super awesome run in anyway.

I of course have DVDs I can workout to at home, but the thought of using them has left me so depressed I cannot even put on my workout clothes. Getting back into strength training is also taking far more effort than I would like. It seems to me like everything is taking too much effort these days...

I am still working on the Paleo eating, and most days it is going pretty well. I am not stressing myself on trying to be perfect through the holiday season, but I am striving to do well every day indulge only in things I really love. No eating something junky just because it is there. And through some wonderful forums and websites and blogs devoted to the Paleo lifestyle, I am getting some fantastic ideas of things to eat, ways to cook them, and so on. So many great ideas that I think I will be able to shop very well for the coming month when I head to the store next week.

As the year comes to a close (and another "fat" birthday has passed) I am feeling a bit better than I have in a while. I am not where I want to be, but I finally feel like I am on the path to get there.

So 'Licious - Mamavation Monday

"So 'licious, so yummy" ~ the Moose "Mommy, my dinner is very alicious tonight" ~ the Monkey.

I had a tough week. Tuesday the boys starting throwing up while we were an hour from home grocery shopping. They continued all night Tuesday night. Wednesday the Moose was better, but the Monkey was so bad I got scared enough to take him to the emergency room. 7 hours (3 on an IV drip) later, he finally looked, talked, and felt like himself again. He still did not want to eat though, so on Thursday, when he told me he was hungry I was trying to shove whatever food I could into my little boy. 

I made him hot chocolate, macaroni and cheese, plied him with granola bars. No go. Grilled chicken, a big fat salad, and some Paleo style eggs worked. My carb-rific kids did some paleo eating of their own this weekend as I adjusted to eating differently. They drank all of my coconut milk (darn them!) They kept eating all my eggs, they gobbled the veggies out of my salad, and stole broccoli cooked in coconut oil off my plate. All the while they told me it was so alicious or so yummy.

My week overall was not good in terms of general stress level, workouts, or anything else. I got kicked out of one of my presentation groups at school (last minute, on Wednesday when I spent the day at the hospital) and told I would have to find something else to do for that grade. It's okay now, I got it taken care of, but it was one more stress that I did not need. I tried to get oil for my furnace, only to be told that HEAP benefits have been cut and it has not been opened yet this year. I am lucky to have an electric blanket and a space heater in the boys' room, because my house will be chilly this winter. I caught attitude from a grocery store cashier when I tried to get all natural peanut butter using WIC (my family is struggling hardcore while I am in school, so I use every available means to keep us afloat and look forward to June when I will have graduated, and pray to the gods that I have a job) when they tried to tell me I could only get the store brand - which isn't true, and I contested it. 

My head is all over the place, and I feel like I am falling behind in my life, trying to do everything I need to do. My mamavation Monday post today is late, rambling, doesn't make a whole lot of sense, so I appreciate the efforts of everyone who took the time to read it. Next week I will be more coherent, I promise.

Running Blog

I have noticed that more and more of my posts have become about running (or at least mention it) and I am okay with this. :) This is moving into being a running blog, and running makes me happy.

I think about running all day. It's first in my brain when I wake up, last thing I think about before I go to sleep, and I even have had dreams about it. It lifts my mood better than anything except the joy I get in my hubby and my kids.

So more posts will talk about my runs, the things I think about on my runs, the things that running makes me feel. And as of Saturday there will be race recaps too - my first race is Pumpkins in the Park and I cannot wait. I'm going to have a little pirate theme rockin' for the race. I'll be sure to get pics :)

I hope I don't lose readers (I value all of you so much) as I grow and figure out my place in the world of running blogs. I know there will be struggles along the way, and the advice and support I get from my tweeps and readers is really what keeps me going.

So come on in, take off your sneakers, grab a cup of coffee (the pot is always on) and tell me your story. We have so much to talk about.

1st #Mamavation Monday Post - I deserve better

I was listening to Talk of the Nation on NPR on my way home from school yesterday (I love NPR, makes me feel smart when I listen :)) and they were talking about the violence in Mexico. It struck me when one caller said "I feel bad for Mexico, they deserve better than that". The host said "as we all do".

As we all do. We all deserve better. Isn't that an amazing epiphany like thought? We all deserve better. Maybe I am the only one struck by the enormity of that simply comment. Maybe it just resonates with me as I begin to realize that I deserve better. My family deserves better. My town, my state, my country, my world deserves better. Better schools, better environment, better health, better jobs, better living conditions, better governments and politicians. We have good ones, but everything can be improved. We can always strive for better.

I can't fix better for everything or everyone. But I can start with me. I can start with my family. My family deserves better. They deserve a mom/wife that is happy and healthy and fun and active. They deserve a wife/mom who loves herself and loves them as much as they could possibly be loved. They deserve a mom/wife who loves them enough to take care of herself.

When I take care of my self, my family gets the better they deserve. When I go for my runs every day my family gets the healthy happy mom they deserve. When I feel good about my self my husband gets the loving, affectionate wife he deserves. By taking care of myself I can give my family what they deserve; I can give them "better".


This isn't the same (at least in my mind) as putting myself first. I can't do that. I have too many responsibilities to put myself first. My family always comes first. But if they always come first, then ensuring that I am fit and healthy and happy takes care of their needs.

So I am going to put my family first and take care of them, and me, so they get the best; so they get what they deserve. Because they deserve better... and so do you.

What about you? Do you put yourself first? Do you consider taking care of your family and taking care of your needs the same?

Energized morning & New (School)Year's Resolution

250.0
Turbo Fire Core 20, Bum Bum Rapido


I woke up energized and refreshed this morning! I don't think I have felt that way in a long time. I was actually able to wake up a little before my first alarm went off and was out of bed making coffee and getting my workout prepped before the second one. Going back to cleaner eating is doing the work it is supposed to. And I was rewarded with another 3+ pounds down on the scale.

So I have decided to make a new year's resolution for the start of the school year.

This school year I will make my health and my family's health a priority - this means:
Cooking as much from scratch as possible
Little (for the boys) to no (for me) "junk" food. If it does provide real nutrition I do not need to eat it!
Adhere to the clean eating principles - whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies, lean healthy protein at every meal.
No procrastinating on homework - I get cranky, miss sleep eat poor and skip workouts when I stay up until 2AM writing papers and doing homework. All my homework should be done by 10PM the night before it is due at the very latest! A day or before is better.
Start research papers soon rather than later. I already have an idea of what I want to write about for at least 2 of my papers, now is the time to get started on them.
Workout every day - even just a walk with the boys. I feel awful and am not the mom I want to be when I don't move. I need those endorphins to keep me sane and keep me from over reacting to everything.
I will blog every day (yes every day) to keep myself on track and accountable. It will include my weight and my workout.

This is my New (School)Year's Resolution!

edited to add:
10 days of getting back to clean eating and my personal portion sizes have drastically reduced themselves naturally and I have lost almost 8lbs!